Long Day...
So, folks, today ended up being a LONG DAY! After my interview and being suburban, my head decided to give me one of my famous migraines. I tried to have an afternoon nap, which is a good thing when you don't work for someone. But, every time I was ALMOST asleep, the phone decided to ring. Annoying or what?
So, this evening, I made steak, taters, and veggies (peppers and onions) for Rob, Cassi, and I. Of course, Cassi didn't have the veggies. She just had a few pieces of steak and a little taters. Because Rob is on his 7th night straight at the Clinic and the girls wanted to do a pot luck tonight, I had him take chicken breasts out this morning. He calls me and tells me this while I'm on my way to the interview. So, I tell him to take the chicken out and I'll use my George Foreman Grill. About 2 weeks ago, I was able to get the "monster of all" George Foreman grills for only $20 from a camper friend of ours. We have gone camping at this campground for 2 years now. We really enjoy being with our friends there, and using our camper.
I digress. This grill still costs $99 on the main for-sale web site. Plus, for the $20, we also got the rolling cart. I remember when the infomercials ran on this grill, it was advertised to be able to replace your gas/charcoal gril. So, when we don't have propane for the grill at the campground, we carry this with us.
So, I made a large pack of boneless, skinless chicken, 7 pieces. I doctored them up with my favorite Watkins seasonings. They were grilling in about 10 minutes. While they were cooking, I made up taters to take and packed 2 cans of green beans. I'll say for the 6 of them, 3 nurses and 3 aids, they'll eat pretty well. I hope they like the food. It didn't take long at all.
Plus, being the MOM that I am, I spent the time and made frosting for the cupcakes we made today and frosted all 2 dozen. For not knowing what color to make the frosting, I just kept it white with yellow cake mix cupcakes. I let Cassi use the red sugar sprinkles to dust the top of the cupcakes a little red coloring.
So, Rob has gotten off to work, and I had a chance to watch some soapies. Because we have Dish Satellite, I get this WONDERFUL channel, SoapNet. They replay the ABC soaps from the day, in the evening. I watched enough to keep me going.
Now, I'm just sitting here, hacking out what I did today. As Nuala suggested, I need to keep my journal going everyday. Come Hell or high water (which is what I saw in Valley View today), I'll write on this thing at least once a day. Plus, I'm continuing to work on my creative writing. So, if anyone has suggestions for stories to write, etc, check out my creatively cathy site.
http://creativelycathy.blogspot.com
FYI...Just a note from Blogger.com, these sites are going to be down on Saturday at noon Pacific time for about 2 hours for scheduled maintenance. Must be when they have the least amount of activity.
Love to all,
Cathy
8^ )
Wednesday, July 12, 2006
I'm a Female Version of my Father...
Okay, so it appears that I am REALLY liking veggies, specifically onions and peppers. Dad's favorites are vidalia onions, but raw. On the other hand, I only like my onions cooked, but like all kinds of onions.
As my Dad says, (his dadism), "Onions are good for your colon, or your semi-colon if you're a half-ass!"
Give it up to my dad!
8^ )
Okay, so it appears that I am REALLY liking veggies, specifically onions and peppers. Dad's favorites are vidalia onions, but raw. On the other hand, I only like my onions cooked, but like all kinds of onions.
As my Dad says, (his dadism), "Onions are good for your colon, or your semi-colon if you're a half-ass!"
Give it up to my dad!
8^ )
Far TOO Many Cables
Okay. My life is filled with WAY TOO MANY technology cables. Right now, I'm working on my laptop at my dining room table (that was inherited when we bought the house). Anyway, I've got a USB keyboard attached to the computer, along with a USB mouse. Right now, I'm working to add my Palm directly to my laptop so I can keep it updated from here. Since I've been using my laptop the majority of the time, some of the stuff I'm doing will be managed through here.
So, I scoured the house, in search of a USB cable to plug into the Palm. Round the house and back to find it sitting right on my table, next to my laptop, but under my cell phone power cable.
I just had to take a 5 minute break to flip cupcakes. Yep, I'm doing my suburban "thing" this afternoon. I picked up Cassi at lunch from her summer school. It's a reading program to help the kids remain interested in school. I had a chance to sit with her teacher. Cassi said on Monday and Tuesday they were having a party tomorrow. So, I asked to confirm this. Classes already started, but tomorrow they are having their "half way through school" party. This afternoon, I am making a couple dozen cupcakes for the party. We'll bring them tomorrow morning to class.
Rob and I once thought that, even though we have a kid, we can still keep our own personal life. NOT HAPPENING. Yes, in the beginning, we were able to remain active and take her with us. Now, that she's 6, she wants just an active a life as we did. Also, because Rob works nights, I don't get out much. That's going to change as I am looking for dance classes for her to attend. Marie, the 100% best sister in the world, has offered to pay for them. So, by keeping her active, I'm working to keep me active. Plus, if I get this job, I'll be able to get back out into the adult world. There's a woman around the corner who babysits, where Cassi will be able to go.
So, this afternoon is pretty Suburban for me. Initially, when I first moved to Cleveland, I was so scared of a life like this. I remember, at least until I was in 4th grade, mom stayed home with us. But, as soon as she was able to go to work, off she went. I remember when I got older that dad was always working. So, when I had an opportunity to have a relationship that might have turned me "suburban," I was deathly afraid of it. But, since being laid off from Ernst & Young, and having a child, it's turned out to not being so bad. Yes, I miss the adult, career conversations I had with friends in my past career, but also know that now, it's not just me I have to take care of. I have to look out for me, my child, and my husband now. My focus has changed. Sometimes, I wonder if I should have had this epiphany a long time ago.
Okay. Another break. The cupcakes are now done. Now, just to have them cool off so I can frost them. Back to my eportfolio to finish for next week.
Love to all,
Cathy
8^ )
Okay. My life is filled with WAY TOO MANY technology cables. Right now, I'm working on my laptop at my dining room table (that was inherited when we bought the house). Anyway, I've got a USB keyboard attached to the computer, along with a USB mouse. Right now, I'm working to add my Palm directly to my laptop so I can keep it updated from here. Since I've been using my laptop the majority of the time, some of the stuff I'm doing will be managed through here.
So, I scoured the house, in search of a USB cable to plug into the Palm. Round the house and back to find it sitting right on my table, next to my laptop, but under my cell phone power cable.
I just had to take a 5 minute break to flip cupcakes. Yep, I'm doing my suburban "thing" this afternoon. I picked up Cassi at lunch from her summer school. It's a reading program to help the kids remain interested in school. I had a chance to sit with her teacher. Cassi said on Monday and Tuesday they were having a party tomorrow. So, I asked to confirm this. Classes already started, but tomorrow they are having their "half way through school" party. This afternoon, I am making a couple dozen cupcakes for the party. We'll bring them tomorrow morning to class.
Rob and I once thought that, even though we have a kid, we can still keep our own personal life. NOT HAPPENING. Yes, in the beginning, we were able to remain active and take her with us. Now, that she's 6, she wants just an active a life as we did. Also, because Rob works nights, I don't get out much. That's going to change as I am looking for dance classes for her to attend. Marie, the 100% best sister in the world, has offered to pay for them. So, by keeping her active, I'm working to keep me active. Plus, if I get this job, I'll be able to get back out into the adult world. There's a woman around the corner who babysits, where Cassi will be able to go.
So, this afternoon is pretty Suburban for me. Initially, when I first moved to Cleveland, I was so scared of a life like this. I remember, at least until I was in 4th grade, mom stayed home with us. But, as soon as she was able to go to work, off she went. I remember when I got older that dad was always working. So, when I had an opportunity to have a relationship that might have turned me "suburban," I was deathly afraid of it. But, since being laid off from Ernst & Young, and having a child, it's turned out to not being so bad. Yes, I miss the adult, career conversations I had with friends in my past career, but also know that now, it's not just me I have to take care of. I have to look out for me, my child, and my husband now. My focus has changed. Sometimes, I wonder if I should have had this epiphany a long time ago.
Okay. Another break. The cupcakes are now done. Now, just to have them cool off so I can frost them. Back to my eportfolio to finish for next week.
Love to all,
Cathy
8^ )
Had an INTERVIEW...
Yes, folks, it's true. I went on a first interview this morning. It was with a company called Avantia. They are hiring for a Technical Writer. I am in the running with 5 other people. Second interviews are next week, with the project starting in about 2 weeks and lasting 6-7 months. Everyone PRAY for me. I would be able to work the job, along with going to school. I already started looking at my classes to see how to rearrange my school schedule just in case.
Also, I would be brought on as a contractor right now, which is cool with me. They gave me the opportunity of full-time professional or contractor. Contractor works because I would be paid on an hourly basis. If I don't work a full 40 hours in a week, because of school, I would only be paid based on the amount of hours I work.
Plus, the job is where I want to be, in Technical Writing. I could finish my degree, get experience, and be ready for when I'm done school.
Okay. That's it for now, folks. I've got to pick up Cassi in a little and am getting a mirgraine. Not going to be a good day!
Love to all,
Cathy
8^ )
Yes, folks, it's true. I went on a first interview this morning. It was with a company called Avantia. They are hiring for a Technical Writer. I am in the running with 5 other people. Second interviews are next week, with the project starting in about 2 weeks and lasting 6-7 months. Everyone PRAY for me. I would be able to work the job, along with going to school. I already started looking at my classes to see how to rearrange my school schedule just in case.
Also, I would be brought on as a contractor right now, which is cool with me. They gave me the opportunity of full-time professional or contractor. Contractor works because I would be paid on an hourly basis. If I don't work a full 40 hours in a week, because of school, I would only be paid based on the amount of hours I work.
Plus, the job is where I want to be, in Technical Writing. I could finish my degree, get experience, and be ready for when I'm done school.
Okay. That's it for now, folks. I've got to pick up Cassi in a little and am getting a mirgraine. Not going to be a good day!
Love to all,
Cathy
8^ )
Monday, July 10, 2006
Cassi, The HIGH Maintenance Child
Cassi is only 6 years old, but I already see my traits in her. If she is not completely busy 100% of the time, she gets sad and lonely. I'm trying so hard to keep her busy, but with the business we are trying to run, and the house that needs HUGE AMOUNTS of organization (what someone told me I'm good at), it's been difficult to keep her busy.
The next trait is friends. She doesn't have many friends and not too many little girls live near us. Her one friend, Lindsey, isn't always home. Cassi doesn't seem to understand this. Plus, we don't want her to go to Lindsey's house when the mom's not home. So, again, I can see Cassi get sad.
I need to make sure she doesn't follow my path. I can see this leading her directly to depression, like I have dealt with.
Okay. Gotta go. Had to vent when she can't.
Cathy
8^ (
Cassi is only 6 years old, but I already see my traits in her. If she is not completely busy 100% of the time, she gets sad and lonely. I'm trying so hard to keep her busy, but with the business we are trying to run, and the house that needs HUGE AMOUNTS of organization (what someone told me I'm good at), it's been difficult to keep her busy.
The next trait is friends. She doesn't have many friends and not too many little girls live near us. Her one friend, Lindsey, isn't always home. Cassi doesn't seem to understand this. Plus, we don't want her to go to Lindsey's house when the mom's not home. So, again, I can see Cassi get sad.
I need to make sure she doesn't follow my path. I can see this leading her directly to depression, like I have dealt with.
Okay. Gotta go. Had to vent when she can't.
Cathy
8^ (
Sunday, July 09, 2006
Poem: Life
Life is such a deep hole
That I wish I was a mole.
Life is so very strange.
It's time for a change,
So I can get out of this hole.
Life is so steep,
That I can't even peep
Into what I would like my future to be.
There must be something wrong with me;
It's hard for me to talk to you,
Can't you see?
I'm better as a listener,
Than as a talker.
All of my real emotion is locked up inside,
So that's why I hide,
This way you can't see if I cried.
Life is sometimes so cold,
So I try to mold
My emotions to conform to everyone else.
Life is often so sad,
So I don't want people to be mad,
To know how sad I was.
In short, I am like that mole,
The mole inside the deep hole.
- March 29, 1990
I just added this to my creatively cathy side. But, wanted to talk about this here. The past 2 days I've been looking for my Copyright certificate of registration forms. From 1989 until 1993, I wrote many, many poems. Over the past week, it has been important to me to find these works, and not because of the English class I just took. It feels like part of my life is missing without these poems. So, hopefully, this week, the Library of Congress, who holds my original submissions, will help me get the copies back.
But, right now, this is what I'm feeling, a little sad. Like usual, I'll just be by myself and get over my episode.
Sorry, don't mean to be a downer; it's just happened this way today. It should clear up in a day or 2.
8^ (
Life is such a deep hole
That I wish I was a mole.
Life is so very strange.
It's time for a change,
So I can get out of this hole.
Life is so steep,
That I can't even peep
Into what I would like my future to be.
There must be something wrong with me;
It's hard for me to talk to you,
Can't you see?
I'm better as a listener,
Than as a talker.
All of my real emotion is locked up inside,
So that's why I hide,
This way you can't see if I cried.
Life is sometimes so cold,
So I try to mold
My emotions to conform to everyone else.
Life is often so sad,
So I don't want people to be mad,
To know how sad I was.
In short, I am like that mole,
The mole inside the deep hole.
- March 29, 1990
I just added this to my creatively cathy side. But, wanted to talk about this here. The past 2 days I've been looking for my Copyright certificate of registration forms. From 1989 until 1993, I wrote many, many poems. Over the past week, it has been important to me to find these works, and not because of the English class I just took. It feels like part of my life is missing without these poems. So, hopefully, this week, the Library of Congress, who holds my original submissions, will help me get the copies back.
But, right now, this is what I'm feeling, a little sad. Like usual, I'll just be by myself and get over my episode.
Sorry, don't mean to be a downer; it's just happened this way today. It should clear up in a day or 2.
8^ (
Saturday, July 08, 2006
AWESOME Card...
It's a "thinking of you" type of card, but the sentiments were great. This is reflective of some people I've been thinking of right now. You know who you are....
"Most great people
have something in common:
they all have at least one person
in their corner who believes in them.
I'm sure I'm only one of many
who admire and think
the universe of you.
I hope you can draw endless energy
from knowing that wherever you are,
whatever you're going through,
there will always be
someone to count on.
There will always be
someone somewhere
wishing the best for you,
rooting for you in spirit.
There will always be someone
who thinks of you,
cares for you,
loves you.
That someone is me."
-D. Derrick Barnes
Enough said.
Love to all,
Cathy
8^ )
It's a "thinking of you" type of card, but the sentiments were great. This is reflective of some people I've been thinking of right now. You know who you are....
"Most great people
have something in common:
they all have at least one person
in their corner who believes in them.
I'm sure I'm only one of many
who admire and think
the universe of you.
I hope you can draw endless energy
from knowing that wherever you are,
whatever you're going through,
there will always be
someone to count on.
There will always be
someone somewhere
wishing the best for you,
rooting for you in spirit.
There will always be someone
who thinks of you,
cares for you,
loves you.
That someone is me."
-D. Derrick Barnes
Enough said.
Love to all,
Cathy
8^ )
Friday, July 07, 2006
Reba McEntire, my FAVORITE Country Artist
For all the stuff Reba does, she has the strongest female voice. I love to hear her sing, just about EVERYTHING in her discography. I really became a fan of her's around 1996, even though I was listening to her albums from 1994 on.
She had a Greatest Hits Vol 2, that I just started listening to. Marie had the CD and allowed me to borrow it. Now, it's one of my favorite albums. After viewing her web site, she had this quote that should have been somewhere on the album:
"It seems your current emotional status determines what music you'd like to hear. That's what happened on the song selection for this album. If for any reason you can relate to the emotion packed inside these songs, I hope it's a form of healing for all our broken hearts!" -Reba
When I read this quote just now, I was listening to the song, "For My Broken Heart." The quote is perfect for those of us who write poetry, song lyrics, etc. Listening to music helps you heal. I love listening to her music. Even the sadder songs can be quite inspirational.
For more information on Reba, go to: http://www.reba.com.
Love to all,
Cathy'
8^ )
For all the stuff Reba does, she has the strongest female voice. I love to hear her sing, just about EVERYTHING in her discography. I really became a fan of her's around 1996, even though I was listening to her albums from 1994 on.
She had a Greatest Hits Vol 2, that I just started listening to. Marie had the CD and allowed me to borrow it. Now, it's one of my favorite albums. After viewing her web site, she had this quote that should have been somewhere on the album:
"It seems your current emotional status determines what music you'd like to hear. That's what happened on the song selection for this album. If for any reason you can relate to the emotion packed inside these songs, I hope it's a form of healing for all our broken hearts!" -Reba
When I read this quote just now, I was listening to the song, "For My Broken Heart." The quote is perfect for those of us who write poetry, song lyrics, etc. Listening to music helps you heal. I love listening to her music. Even the sadder songs can be quite inspirational.
For more information on Reba, go to: http://www.reba.com.
Love to all,
Cathy'
8^ )
Disney Soundtracks...
If anyone has seen Toy Story 2, you know there was a soundtrack, and some AWESOME music performed for the story. My favorite song, which also brings me to tears each time, is this song: "When She Loved Me" by Sarah McLachlan
When somebody loved me
everything was beautiful
every hour we spent together
lives within my heart
And when she was sad
I was there to dry her tears
and when she was happy so was I
when she loved me
Through the summer and the fall
we had each other that was all
just she and I together
like it was meant to be
and when she was lonelyI was there to comfort her
and I knew that she loved me
So the years went byI stayed the same
but she began to drift awayI was left alone
still I waited for the day
when she'd sayI will always love you
Lonely and forgotten
never thought she'd look my way
and she smiled at me
and held mejust like she used to do
like she loved mewhen she loved me
When somebody loved me
everything was beautiful
every hour we spent together
lives within my heart
When she loved me...
There is personal meaning in this song. Plus, I could definitely write a story about this song. Maybe I'll work on one this weekend.
Love to all,
Cathy
8^ )
If anyone has seen Toy Story 2, you know there was a soundtrack, and some AWESOME music performed for the story. My favorite song, which also brings me to tears each time, is this song: "When She Loved Me" by Sarah McLachlan
When somebody loved me
everything was beautiful
every hour we spent together
lives within my heart
And when she was sad
I was there to dry her tears
and when she was happy so was I
when she loved me
Through the summer and the fall
we had each other that was all
just she and I together
like it was meant to be
and when she was lonelyI was there to comfort her
and I knew that she loved me
So the years went byI stayed the same
but she began to drift awayI was left alone
still I waited for the day
when she'd sayI will always love you
Lonely and forgotten
never thought she'd look my way
and she smiled at me
and held mejust like she used to do
like she loved mewhen she loved me
When somebody loved me
everything was beautiful
every hour we spent together
lives within my heart
When she loved me...
There is personal meaning in this song. Plus, I could definitely write a story about this song. Maybe I'll work on one this weekend.
Love to all,
Cathy
8^ )
Old Scrapbook online...
Hello everyone. A while ago, I tried developing my own scrapbook site for our family photos and stuff. Well, it didn't work out. It turns out this blog is a better place for journaling and adding photos. So, I'll keep working on it here.
But, for those of you interested in seeing the older pictures and such, you can access web site:
http://family.naturallyhealthyhome.com
Yep, the site still exists. It has older photos of Cassi, mostly. Plus, you'll find all types of good information. It hasn't been updated in a year, since we moved into our house. It probably won't get updated anymore either. I may just print out the pages and start a regular scrapbook with the information and pictures. Good way for me to start, eh?
Love to all,
Cathy 8^ )
Hello everyone. A while ago, I tried developing my own scrapbook site for our family photos and stuff. Well, it didn't work out. It turns out this blog is a better place for journaling and adding photos. So, I'll keep working on it here.
But, for those of you interested in seeing the older pictures and such, you can access web site:
http://family.naturallyhealthyhome.com
Yep, the site still exists. It has older photos of Cassi, mostly. Plus, you'll find all types of good information. It hasn't been updated in a year, since we moved into our house. It probably won't get updated anymore either. I may just print out the pages and start a regular scrapbook with the information and pictures. Good way for me to start, eh?
Love to all,
Cathy 8^ )
Cassi, short for Cassiopeia. (and her favorite color is red)
She is the love of my life, although I really didn't think I wanted her when I found out I was pregnant. She is now 6 years old. She was lucky enough to go to an all-day kindergarten this year. This was lucky for me too. Since I started back to college, I go to school when she goes to school. A great deal all the way around. I've taken sooooo many pictures of her over the years. I always did love photography. Since 1997, even before her birth, I've had a digital camera. This year, I was able to upgrade to a 6.2MP camera. It is so small that it lives in my purse. I take ALL sorts of pictures.
Okay. So, this year, Cassi had the opportunity to have her picture take twice, in October and March. Here is October:
She is the love of my life, although I really didn't think I wanted her when I found out I was pregnant. She is now 6 years old. She was lucky enough to go to an all-day kindergarten this year. This was lucky for me too. Since I started back to college, I go to school when she goes to school. A great deal all the way around. I've taken sooooo many pictures of her over the years. I always did love photography. Since 1997, even before her birth, I've had a digital camera. This year, I was able to upgrade to a 6.2MP camera. It is so small that it lives in my purse. I take ALL sorts of pictures.
Okay. So, this year, Cassi had the opportunity to have her picture take twice, in October and March. Here is October:
Here is March:
She is my pride and joy. She's working so hard; she has issues. For the short-short, she has trouble concentrating, with a disorder called Auditory Processing Disorder. She has trouble processing what she hears. She's very smart, but it just takes her time to "get" what she is being told or what she is reading.
That's it for now about Cassi. I just wanted to add her pictures here.
Love to all,
Cathy 8^ )
P.S. Just had a thought. For those of you reading this post, and seeing Cassi, probably wonder what I look like, if you've never seen me. I'll add my picture in another post. A family friend from New Jersey has told us many times that she looks like me when I was growing up. She should know, she's known me since I was ONE (34 years now)!
Jason Birzer
The time has come. This post may be all over the board, but I believe it is time to discuss this. This past week, Jason sent me a PM. About a year and a half ago, I found him when I "googled" his name on Yahoo! There was a web site that he posted on called, hometheaterforum.com. Overall, the web site is very interesting and a lot of good information.
In May, I finally had a decent picture taken of me. So, I added my photo as an avatar for my posts. Jason recognized my name from my picture. It will be 10 years in October since we broke up.
So, for the past week, we have been PM'ing and now emailing each other, catching up. I know I've been doing a lot apologizing for my behavior and how I treated him when we broke up. I'm about to apologize again. I made a comment in an earlier post:
My Weight...Part 2 (don't forget to start with Par...
In this post, where I am talking about my weight, I made a short mention of Jason. I made the comment, Thank God that we were no longer together.
Okay. The comment was uncalled-for and has been removed. But, I've never really dealt with the break up 10 years ago. I just immediately moved on. For a while, I was just by myself and feeling very lonely, which I actually felt while we were together, although we never were really in the same location.
We met in 1992. I was on a personal trip to Washington DC. I was there for a poetry conference (again, another story). While spending time on the subway, learning my way around the city, since it was my first time there, I bumped into Jason. He helped me by telling me where I needed to go on the subway. After I started away up the escalator, I heard him say, "I wish I got her name." So, before I could even think, I run up, down, and down again on the escalators to find him. I can't remember if he went with me or if I went with him, but we got on the train together and started talking. We exchanged numbers, etc and parted. But, it seems we decided to start dating each other at that moment. So, the whole 4 years we dated, we had a long-distance relationship. It was good the first year. I lived in New Jersey and he at home or at school. Both locations were half-way decent trips for me. I always loved driving, so had no problem traveling to see Jason. I think almost immediately, I fell in love.
That was August, 1992!
What happened during 92-93: This was the first year we were “together.” I lived in New Jersey, going to school for my last 7 classes of my degree. During this time, I was a nanny for 4 children. I lived in the family’s home. Jason came up and visited me at the home. During this year, I wrote a lot of poetry, targeted to my relationship with Jason. For my Spring Break from school, I went to his college and stayed with him in the apartment he and his buddies rented. The first thing I had to do while I was there was wash dishes. I couldn’t believe how many DIRTY dishes they had. I helped out around the apartment as much as I could. As I recall, 3 or 4 guys shared the apartment. It was a very rough week for me. As much as I enjoyed being with him, his best friend did not like me (and didn’t the whole time we were together). At the end of the week, when I was supposed to go home, a terrible snowstorm hit his area. Everything was shut down for 4 extra days. We were stuck in the apartment for 3 of those days because of the amount of snow plowed us in. I just couldn’t wait to get home. I should have been more patient.
Another problem, I was always impatient. But, he was always patient for me.
Anyway, on the way home, and while waiting for a bus from Baltimore to Philadelphia, my wallet was stolen at the bus station in Baltimore. I didn’t realize it until 15 minutes outside of Baltimore. All the way to Philadelphia, I felt so ashamed that I couldn’t even get my next bus to New Jersey. So, I spent the time making a list of all the credit cards, checking info, etc that would have been in my wallet. Once I arrived into Philadelphia, I had to make a collect-call to my parents to come get me. Mom drove an hour down to Philadelphia and brought me home. I was so embarrassed and ashamed that I fell for it. First off, I lost $200 in Baltimore. Then, after going to the bank the next morning, found out that the thieves took $200 from my bank account. I had already paid bills and was then getting bounced check fees being attached to my account. I felt so low. I felt embarrassed to my father. In the end, dad gave me the money to cover what was stolen and the bank rescinded the bounced check fees. But, at that time, unlike now, banks didn’t give you back the money when things, like, YOUR WALLET, get stolen. The insurance wasn’t there like it is now. So, I finished up the semester, and grew ever wiser from the experience.
Even though Jason was in college and completed his degree, I think I was jealous of the fact that he was able to go and I wasn’t. Because of my family’s financial situation, and the fact that we had to relocate after my 22 years of being alive, college was out for me. Oh, sure, I got my Associate’s Degree, but only after I had been laid off from the Federal Government. Plus, at that time, it was “cool” to allow people who had been laid off to get paid unemployment AND pay for their education for a new field. Well, I had 7 classes left in my AA. I was able to finish school and get my degree, along with not having to work, but get unemployment money. Yes, I was proud of Jason’s accomplishments, but also jealous of his opportunities. Here’s one communication problem we had because I never told him this. In the beginning, I almost went to the college he went to. Frostburg University in Western Maryland was a choice of colleges for me when I was choosing.
My move in 93: In August, 1993, I completed my degree. The next week, we moved to Cleveland, OH. My mom, being originally from Cleveland, knew that her job at Ft. Dix was going to eventually be phased out, and she would lose her job. Also, in April of that year, dad lost his job at Exxon. What I didn’t know was that they tried to lay him off one day prior to his 20 year anniversary, thus, not enabling him to have his 20 year retirement capabilities. He fought to get that last day so that now he can have his right to a retirement. Anyway, mom knew there were jobs opening up in Cleveland. In July of that year, mom went for training to Indianapolis. On the way home, she stopped in Cleveland and had an interview about the new job. The interviewer thought mom had already moved to Cleveland and offered her a job to start the VERY NEXT DAY. Mom just couldn’t start because she had to come home to New Jersey and get us. So, they started her the next month. At the same time, dad was given a phone interview because of his Vietnam-era Veteran’s status. He was hired over the phone.
As far as my relationship with Jason, we were both devastated. Immediately, I tried to get a job in Washington DC because I would have rather have been there than in Cleveland.
93-94: This was Jason’s senior year of college. Don’t remember why, but he chose to move back into the dorms. With my being in Cleveland, I was closer to him in college. I remember visiting him during the Football draft weekend. It was awkward because his best friend, Brian, lived with him in the same dorm room. So, I was there for the weekend and his best friend, who hated me, was in the same room.
My job in 94: At the same time, I was able to start my first job in January, 1994. I started working at Ernst & Young. Immediately, I was responsible for a lot of “stuff” with my new job. So, I worked 3-11, and rode a bus. By this time, I started my decline of writing. Somehow, I had a writer’s block. That block actually was in place until this past January, 2006. That spring, Jason graduated from college. I was so proud of him, but a little sad because, even though I had a good job, I didn’t have the education that I wanted. I tried that fall to start college at Cleveland State University, but couldn’t get financial aid because 1. they didn’t see me as an independent student, and 2. I had only been living in Ohio for less than a year. So, my education ideas stopped until 2006.
My apartment in 94: That summer, I moved into my own first apartment. It was right across the street from my parents. My parents lived in a building with my grandfather. He has 2 apartments upstairs and his business in the first floor/basement (still runs the business today). I was feeling so independent.
94-95: Was pretty much the same as 93-94. I lived in my own apartment, worked, and traveled back and forth to see Jason, except now he was living at home. It was awkward to visit him at his home. When he came to visit me, it was just him and I, but not when we were at his home. I know his mom and dad tried their best to be nice to me, there always seemed to be something blocking us having a relationship. Tracy, his sister, was always nice to me and wanted to do stuff with Jason and I when I came to visit. I visited during the Christmas season in 94. At that time, Tracy gave me an old tree she was no longer using. Plus, I purchased most of the ornaments that I still have today. I had purchased a load of ornaments and shipped them home because during that trip, I flew down.
Next problem, with all the traveling and buying stuff, my debts were increasing with great numbers. I had become ashamed of the fact that I couldn’t control my spending habits because I just wanted to be with him.
95-96: The start of the decline. I was so lonely in Cleveland by myself. But, there was never any discussion of us stepping up to the next level. I never asked him and he never asked me. I had suggested that he try to find a job in Cleveland. He would be able to move in with me and work. That would have been one choice of a solution to our problem. I tried VERY hard to get him a job. With his degree, it should have been easy to get him a job. I was getting frustrated and lonelier because I spent almost every weekend at home, in my apartment, alone. Oh, I had friends; the ones I worked with. Because I was “involved,” they chose not to invite me out to the clubs with them. Funny thing, after we broke up, they still didn’t want to involve me.
My depression was very bad at this time, but undiagnosed, I couldn’t tell Jason how I was feeling. I NEVER told him how sad I had been. Today, after experience with working with a Psychiatrist, I understand that I have been “dealing” with my depression for years, maybe even since high school.
Next problem, I had depression, but didn’t know it and couldn’t describe it.
Our trip to Tampa/St. Petersburg: So, we took a trip to Tampa. My girlfriend Terri, who I haven’t seen since then, wanted us come visit. I had hoped that it would help us with our relationship. Jason had thought the same, but it was a very rough week. I acted like a baby because I wanted to spend time with Terri and Jason just wanted to spend time with me. In the end, we both took separate flights to our homes. We had actually broken up at this point. I tried my hardest for us to give it another shot. My loneliness just continued.
Jason tried to get me to move down to the Washington area with him. I actually had an interview that took me to Virginia. We even looked at apartments together. But, again, there was never talk of commitment. I had so much debt at that point, I was just plain ashamed of myself. I got a good look and compared the prices of stuff on the east coast versus where I was. With no commitment, how could I just up and move? I was so torn. The whole time, everyone at work never knew what was going on and no one ever asked. I think that really made me even more depressed. But, as before, I just “dealt” with it.
Our breakup: So, one night in October, it came to an end. We talked on the phone. I remember a lot of blaming going on. I was told that I had lost my innocence by moving to Cleveland and working at E&Y. I had stopped writing all together. Even though I had an important job, the money to pay the bills I had accumulated with Jason, it just wasn’t enough. So, it ended. And I cried for a few days and “moved on” like had always done in the past. I was lonely and alone, but had been feeling that for a long time and realized it would continue.
It seemed that the 4-year relationship wasn't going anywhere. I know there were communication problems, but we both didn't want to handle them. Love just didn't seem to be enough. The space (distance) got in the way. If he had only told me his plans. He has now said he was looking for an apartment when we broke up. At the time, he was still living at home, and I in my own apartment. There had been no talk of commitment. We were both scared.
What if there had been a commitment? What if?
Now, I have the opportunity to have him back in my life. I've lost the last 10 years. I want his friendship, even though my depression takes over my feelings. I am willing to re-learn about him if he will give me the chance.
I've lost too many friendships over the past 10 years. I can't lose this one. I'm not desperate, just in need of friends, especially since I want him to be totally honest with me.
Plus, there's an upside. Because he has told me he is running again and running marathons, maybe I'm inspired to try to lose weight. It's only 3 years until my 20-year reunion. Plus, if I ever get the opportunity to see him again, I don’t want him to see how the years aged me. I’m now 35 and feel like I’m 60!
Love to all,
Cathy
8^ )
As Marie, my sister, says, "Everything happens for a reason." There must have been a larger purpose to this experience. I just don't know what that meaning is yet.
The time has come. This post may be all over the board, but I believe it is time to discuss this. This past week, Jason sent me a PM. About a year and a half ago, I found him when I "googled" his name on Yahoo! There was a web site that he posted on called, hometheaterforum.com. Overall, the web site is very interesting and a lot of good information.
In May, I finally had a decent picture taken of me. So, I added my photo as an avatar for my posts. Jason recognized my name from my picture. It will be 10 years in October since we broke up.
So, for the past week, we have been PM'ing and now emailing each other, catching up. I know I've been doing a lot apologizing for my behavior and how I treated him when we broke up. I'm about to apologize again. I made a comment in an earlier post:
My Weight...Part 2 (don't forget to start with Par...
In this post, where I am talking about my weight, I made a short mention of Jason. I made the comment, Thank God that we were no longer together.
Okay. The comment was uncalled-for and has been removed. But, I've never really dealt with the break up 10 years ago. I just immediately moved on. For a while, I was just by myself and feeling very lonely, which I actually felt while we were together, although we never were really in the same location.
We met in 1992. I was on a personal trip to Washington DC. I was there for a poetry conference (again, another story). While spending time on the subway, learning my way around the city, since it was my first time there, I bumped into Jason. He helped me by telling me where I needed to go on the subway. After I started away up the escalator, I heard him say, "I wish I got her name." So, before I could even think, I run up, down, and down again on the escalators to find him. I can't remember if he went with me or if I went with him, but we got on the train together and started talking. We exchanged numbers, etc and parted. But, it seems we decided to start dating each other at that moment. So, the whole 4 years we dated, we had a long-distance relationship. It was good the first year. I lived in New Jersey and he at home or at school. Both locations were half-way decent trips for me. I always loved driving, so had no problem traveling to see Jason. I think almost immediately, I fell in love.
That was August, 1992!
What happened during 92-93: This was the first year we were “together.” I lived in New Jersey, going to school for my last 7 classes of my degree. During this time, I was a nanny for 4 children. I lived in the family’s home. Jason came up and visited me at the home. During this year, I wrote a lot of poetry, targeted to my relationship with Jason. For my Spring Break from school, I went to his college and stayed with him in the apartment he and his buddies rented. The first thing I had to do while I was there was wash dishes. I couldn’t believe how many DIRTY dishes they had. I helped out around the apartment as much as I could. As I recall, 3 or 4 guys shared the apartment. It was a very rough week for me. As much as I enjoyed being with him, his best friend did not like me (and didn’t the whole time we were together). At the end of the week, when I was supposed to go home, a terrible snowstorm hit his area. Everything was shut down for 4 extra days. We were stuck in the apartment for 3 of those days because of the amount of snow plowed us in. I just couldn’t wait to get home. I should have been more patient.
Another problem, I was always impatient. But, he was always patient for me.
Anyway, on the way home, and while waiting for a bus from Baltimore to Philadelphia, my wallet was stolen at the bus station in Baltimore. I didn’t realize it until 15 minutes outside of Baltimore. All the way to Philadelphia, I felt so ashamed that I couldn’t even get my next bus to New Jersey. So, I spent the time making a list of all the credit cards, checking info, etc that would have been in my wallet. Once I arrived into Philadelphia, I had to make a collect-call to my parents to come get me. Mom drove an hour down to Philadelphia and brought me home. I was so embarrassed and ashamed that I fell for it. First off, I lost $200 in Baltimore. Then, after going to the bank the next morning, found out that the thieves took $200 from my bank account. I had already paid bills and was then getting bounced check fees being attached to my account. I felt so low. I felt embarrassed to my father. In the end, dad gave me the money to cover what was stolen and the bank rescinded the bounced check fees. But, at that time, unlike now, banks didn’t give you back the money when things, like, YOUR WALLET, get stolen. The insurance wasn’t there like it is now. So, I finished up the semester, and grew ever wiser from the experience.
Even though Jason was in college and completed his degree, I think I was jealous of the fact that he was able to go and I wasn’t. Because of my family’s financial situation, and the fact that we had to relocate after my 22 years of being alive, college was out for me. Oh, sure, I got my Associate’s Degree, but only after I had been laid off from the Federal Government. Plus, at that time, it was “cool” to allow people who had been laid off to get paid unemployment AND pay for their education for a new field. Well, I had 7 classes left in my AA. I was able to finish school and get my degree, along with not having to work, but get unemployment money. Yes, I was proud of Jason’s accomplishments, but also jealous of his opportunities. Here’s one communication problem we had because I never told him this. In the beginning, I almost went to the college he went to. Frostburg University in Western Maryland was a choice of colleges for me when I was choosing.
My move in 93: In August, 1993, I completed my degree. The next week, we moved to Cleveland, OH. My mom, being originally from Cleveland, knew that her job at Ft. Dix was going to eventually be phased out, and she would lose her job. Also, in April of that year, dad lost his job at Exxon. What I didn’t know was that they tried to lay him off one day prior to his 20 year anniversary, thus, not enabling him to have his 20 year retirement capabilities. He fought to get that last day so that now he can have his right to a retirement. Anyway, mom knew there were jobs opening up in Cleveland. In July of that year, mom went for training to Indianapolis. On the way home, she stopped in Cleveland and had an interview about the new job. The interviewer thought mom had already moved to Cleveland and offered her a job to start the VERY NEXT DAY. Mom just couldn’t start because she had to come home to New Jersey and get us. So, they started her the next month. At the same time, dad was given a phone interview because of his Vietnam-era Veteran’s status. He was hired over the phone.
As far as my relationship with Jason, we were both devastated. Immediately, I tried to get a job in Washington DC because I would have rather have been there than in Cleveland.
93-94: This was Jason’s senior year of college. Don’t remember why, but he chose to move back into the dorms. With my being in Cleveland, I was closer to him in college. I remember visiting him during the Football draft weekend. It was awkward because his best friend, Brian, lived with him in the same dorm room. So, I was there for the weekend and his best friend, who hated me, was in the same room.
My job in 94: At the same time, I was able to start my first job in January, 1994. I started working at Ernst & Young. Immediately, I was responsible for a lot of “stuff” with my new job. So, I worked 3-11, and rode a bus. By this time, I started my decline of writing. Somehow, I had a writer’s block. That block actually was in place until this past January, 2006. That spring, Jason graduated from college. I was so proud of him, but a little sad because, even though I had a good job, I didn’t have the education that I wanted. I tried that fall to start college at Cleveland State University, but couldn’t get financial aid because 1. they didn’t see me as an independent student, and 2. I had only been living in Ohio for less than a year. So, my education ideas stopped until 2006.
My apartment in 94: That summer, I moved into my own first apartment. It was right across the street from my parents. My parents lived in a building with my grandfather. He has 2 apartments upstairs and his business in the first floor/basement (still runs the business today). I was feeling so independent.
94-95: Was pretty much the same as 93-94. I lived in my own apartment, worked, and traveled back and forth to see Jason, except now he was living at home. It was awkward to visit him at his home. When he came to visit me, it was just him and I, but not when we were at his home. I know his mom and dad tried their best to be nice to me, there always seemed to be something blocking us having a relationship. Tracy, his sister, was always nice to me and wanted to do stuff with Jason and I when I came to visit. I visited during the Christmas season in 94. At that time, Tracy gave me an old tree she was no longer using. Plus, I purchased most of the ornaments that I still have today. I had purchased a load of ornaments and shipped them home because during that trip, I flew down.
Next problem, with all the traveling and buying stuff, my debts were increasing with great numbers. I had become ashamed of the fact that I couldn’t control my spending habits because I just wanted to be with him.
95-96: The start of the decline. I was so lonely in Cleveland by myself. But, there was never any discussion of us stepping up to the next level. I never asked him and he never asked me. I had suggested that he try to find a job in Cleveland. He would be able to move in with me and work. That would have been one choice of a solution to our problem. I tried VERY hard to get him a job. With his degree, it should have been easy to get him a job. I was getting frustrated and lonelier because I spent almost every weekend at home, in my apartment, alone. Oh, I had friends; the ones I worked with. Because I was “involved,” they chose not to invite me out to the clubs with them. Funny thing, after we broke up, they still didn’t want to involve me.
My depression was very bad at this time, but undiagnosed, I couldn’t tell Jason how I was feeling. I NEVER told him how sad I had been. Today, after experience with working with a Psychiatrist, I understand that I have been “dealing” with my depression for years, maybe even since high school.
Next problem, I had depression, but didn’t know it and couldn’t describe it.
Our trip to Tampa/St. Petersburg: So, we took a trip to Tampa. My girlfriend Terri, who I haven’t seen since then, wanted us come visit. I had hoped that it would help us with our relationship. Jason had thought the same, but it was a very rough week. I acted like a baby because I wanted to spend time with Terri and Jason just wanted to spend time with me. In the end, we both took separate flights to our homes. We had actually broken up at this point. I tried my hardest for us to give it another shot. My loneliness just continued.
Jason tried to get me to move down to the Washington area with him. I actually had an interview that took me to Virginia. We even looked at apartments together. But, again, there was never talk of commitment. I had so much debt at that point, I was just plain ashamed of myself. I got a good look and compared the prices of stuff on the east coast versus where I was. With no commitment, how could I just up and move? I was so torn. The whole time, everyone at work never knew what was going on and no one ever asked. I think that really made me even more depressed. But, as before, I just “dealt” with it.
Our breakup: So, one night in October, it came to an end. We talked on the phone. I remember a lot of blaming going on. I was told that I had lost my innocence by moving to Cleveland and working at E&Y. I had stopped writing all together. Even though I had an important job, the money to pay the bills I had accumulated with Jason, it just wasn’t enough. So, it ended. And I cried for a few days and “moved on” like had always done in the past. I was lonely and alone, but had been feeling that for a long time and realized it would continue.
It seemed that the 4-year relationship wasn't going anywhere. I know there were communication problems, but we both didn't want to handle them. Love just didn't seem to be enough. The space (distance) got in the way. If he had only told me his plans. He has now said he was looking for an apartment when we broke up. At the time, he was still living at home, and I in my own apartment. There had been no talk of commitment. We were both scared.
What if there had been a commitment? What if?
Now, I have the opportunity to have him back in my life. I've lost the last 10 years. I want his friendship, even though my depression takes over my feelings. I am willing to re-learn about him if he will give me the chance.
I've lost too many friendships over the past 10 years. I can't lose this one. I'm not desperate, just in need of friends, especially since I want him to be totally honest with me.
Plus, there's an upside. Because he has told me he is running again and running marathons, maybe I'm inspired to try to lose weight. It's only 3 years until my 20-year reunion. Plus, if I ever get the opportunity to see him again, I don’t want him to see how the years aged me. I’m now 35 and feel like I’m 60!
Love to all,
Cathy
8^ )
As Marie, my sister, says, "Everything happens for a reason." There must have been a larger purpose to this experience. I just don't know what that meaning is yet.
Thursday, July 06, 2006
Herding Cats (Kittens)
When I worked for Ernst & Young, I would frequently hear a phrase, "We're herding cats." I semi understood what it meant for business. It seems that it deals with technology businesses and project management.
It has a whole new meaning for me now. I've got a HERD of Kittens. Now, from 2 adults to 2 aduls and 4 babies, 6 cats total.
SHEW!
Love to all,
Cathy
8^ )
When I worked for Ernst & Young, I would frequently hear a phrase, "We're herding cats." I semi understood what it meant for business. It seems that it deals with technology businesses and project management.
It has a whole new meaning for me now. I've got a HERD of Kittens. Now, from 2 adults to 2 aduls and 4 babies, 6 cats total.
SHEW!
Love to all,
Cathy
8^ )
How Patches Adopted Us
In our home, which is now not new after a year of living here, we were adopted by a little kitty. I have since come to find out she is a "calico," which means she is black, white, and orange. She showed up at our front door the first week of May. Here in Northeast Ohio, the weather can be quite crazy. Even now in July, our in house temperature was 69 degrees because it was so cool outside. Anyway, it was down to freezing. The first night, she slept behind our hedges that line our front door. Every time Rob went out to smoke (yes ladies, he smokes, but has never smoked in the house, only outside), this little kitty would follow him. She was so loving. The next day, while waiting with Cassi to catch the bus, the kitty showed up again. She was trying so hard to get into the house.
We already had one cat in the house. So, with good conscience, I couldn't just let her be outside, and not get some food. She obviously hadn't eaten in a few days. I took a paper plate full of dry food and a bowl of water out. She ate half of the food at the first sitting.
She kept trying to get in. When she did, she found a place to curl up and sleep. We had (just gave to our camper friends) a "little girl couch" which can also be called a "chair and a half" where she found a spot and slept all day. The poor, tired thing was soooo tired. She must have been booted out of her home. So, Cassi and I adopted her. Rob didn't know we brought her in yet. We have this blue couch (have had it since 1996, before meeting Rob), she was sleeping on top of the couch and half hanging off. Rob sat down and looked at the cat. He says, "Charlie needs to watch or she'll fall off." I reply to him, "That's not Charlie." He had to look closely at the kitty to see that it wasn't her. You see, Charlie is also a calico. The only difference is that the new kitty had a larger white tip on her tail. Cassi and I named her Patches.
Over the past few weeks, I noticed that Patches got fat quickly. I just figured it was because she was eating so much here. Our home has a full-size basement, where their litter pan lives. There are also bowls of water and dry food, along with a set of bowls in the kitchen.
Come the night of my 2 finals and manuscript and audio CDs, she decides she is going to hibernate under our computer desk. We tried to get her to stay in a box, but it didn't work. Rob says, "She's pregnant." We got her out of the room so that I could complete what I wanted for the night and get the room closed. That's all we needed was to have babies next to computers.
So, I ended up not getting to bed until 3am. With all the stuff going on that night, I just couldn't sleep, another dose of insomnia. At 5am, Cassi comes running in, "The cats are fighting." After 2 hours of sleep, I, feeling very drugged, get up and go into her room. Cassi had slept that night on her floor in her Disney Princess indoor play tent. As I walk into the room, I hear a bunch of "mews" coming from the tent. It appeared that Patches decided to have her babies in the tent, WITH CASSI IN IT!
So, at 5am, two babies were born, at 6:30 a third, and 9am the last. Our family of 5 just went to a family of 9! If anyone in the area is looking for a kitten, we'll be ready to adopt them in 7 weeks (since they're a week old today). Here is a picture of the babies drinking.
Through all of this, Charlie has been very good. On the first day of the births, Charlie went to the room and hissed a little. But, other than that, nothing.
I'll add more photos as they grow.
Love to all,
Cathy
8^ )
In our home, which is now not new after a year of living here, we were adopted by a little kitty. I have since come to find out she is a "calico," which means she is black, white, and orange. She showed up at our front door the first week of May. Here in Northeast Ohio, the weather can be quite crazy. Even now in July, our in house temperature was 69 degrees because it was so cool outside. Anyway, it was down to freezing. The first night, she slept behind our hedges that line our front door. Every time Rob went out to smoke (yes ladies, he smokes, but has never smoked in the house, only outside), this little kitty would follow him. She was so loving. The next day, while waiting with Cassi to catch the bus, the kitty showed up again. She was trying so hard to get into the house.
We already had one cat in the house. So, with good conscience, I couldn't just let her be outside, and not get some food. She obviously hadn't eaten in a few days. I took a paper plate full of dry food and a bowl of water out. She ate half of the food at the first sitting.
She kept trying to get in. When she did, she found a place to curl up and sleep. We had (just gave to our camper friends) a "little girl couch" which can also be called a "chair and a half" where she found a spot and slept all day. The poor, tired thing was soooo tired. She must have been booted out of her home. So, Cassi and I adopted her. Rob didn't know we brought her in yet. We have this blue couch (have had it since 1996, before meeting Rob), she was sleeping on top of the couch and half hanging off. Rob sat down and looked at the cat. He says, "Charlie needs to watch or she'll fall off." I reply to him, "That's not Charlie." He had to look closely at the kitty to see that it wasn't her. You see, Charlie is also a calico. The only difference is that the new kitty had a larger white tip on her tail. Cassi and I named her Patches.
Over the past few weeks, I noticed that Patches got fat quickly. I just figured it was because she was eating so much here. Our home has a full-size basement, where their litter pan lives. There are also bowls of water and dry food, along with a set of bowls in the kitchen.
Come the night of my 2 finals and manuscript and audio CDs, she decides she is going to hibernate under our computer desk. We tried to get her to stay in a box, but it didn't work. Rob says, "She's pregnant." We got her out of the room so that I could complete what I wanted for the night and get the room closed. That's all we needed was to have babies next to computers.
So, I ended up not getting to bed until 3am. With all the stuff going on that night, I just couldn't sleep, another dose of insomnia. At 5am, Cassi comes running in, "The cats are fighting." After 2 hours of sleep, I, feeling very drugged, get up and go into her room. Cassi had slept that night on her floor in her Disney Princess indoor play tent. As I walk into the room, I hear a bunch of "mews" coming from the tent. It appeared that Patches decided to have her babies in the tent, WITH CASSI IN IT!
So, at 5am, two babies were born, at 6:30 a third, and 9am the last. Our family of 5 just went to a family of 9! If anyone in the area is looking for a kitten, we'll be ready to adopt them in 7 weeks (since they're a week old today). Here is a picture of the babies drinking.
Through all of this, Charlie has been very good. On the first day of the births, Charlie went to the room and hissed a little. But, other than that, nothing.
I'll add more photos as they grow.
Love to all,
Cathy
8^ )
Monday, June 12, 2006
My Birthday...
For those of you who don't know, my birthday is coming up next Monday. I will be 35. It has been a wild year for me. From starting school, to Cassi starting Kindergarten, to Rob getting the job of a lifetime at the Cleveland Clinic, it has been crazy.
Right now, I'm getting ready for my classes this evening. I'm going to take a quick nap before class, but am also playing with my iPod.
Okay, for those of you who know me and want to get gifts for me, I only want 1 thing, gift cards for iTunes.
I'll write more about the last year over the next few days. This week in Creative Writing, I have to write 2 fiction stories. Anyone have any ideas for stories I can write. They are to be short, about 1-3 pages typed. So, if anyone wants to give ideas, let me know.
Love to all,
Cathy 8^ )
For those of you who don't know, my birthday is coming up next Monday. I will be 35. It has been a wild year for me. From starting school, to Cassi starting Kindergarten, to Rob getting the job of a lifetime at the Cleveland Clinic, it has been crazy.
Right now, I'm getting ready for my classes this evening. I'm going to take a quick nap before class, but am also playing with my iPod.
Okay, for those of you who know me and want to get gifts for me, I only want 1 thing, gift cards for iTunes.
I'll write more about the last year over the next few days. This week in Creative Writing, I have to write 2 fiction stories. Anyone have any ideas for stories I can write. They are to be short, about 1-3 pages typed. So, if anyone wants to give ideas, let me know.
Love to all,
Cathy 8^ )
Sunday, June 11, 2006
As the Wheels Turn (a non-Fiction Re-Write)
I saw the blue bike, looking to see if the owner was out. It was 6pm, and their garbage was at their driveway end. Blue was there. I looked at it, then at the house. Would they mind? I looked again. I looked a third time. Then…
It was a warm, Sunday afternoon in Elyria, Ohio. Elyria is a suburb approximately 40 minutes west of Downtown Cleveland, Ohio. It wasn’t hot enough for air conditioning but warm enough to be slightly above comfortable.
Our home is nestled in a residential area, just off Lake Avenue, which is near Route 113, Route 57, and the Ohio Turnpike. Our house address is 375 High Street, which is odd for the home. According to Rob, that’s my husband, the house address should correspond to where the front door faces. So, I have asked him, “Shouldn’t our address be Penfield Avenue?” To this, he has no reply.
Sundays in Elyria signifies garbage day; the day AND night residents in Elyria take their garbage to the road. So, all day we see the trucks clamor up and down our streets, looking for hidden treasures. In one truck, we find an old washer, a bent up children’s slide, and other metal items. We think he’ll be able to make a few bucks from the scrap metal. We know this must be a weekly ritual for him because we’ve watched him pass our house at least three times in 10 minutes. There seems to be an unspoken rule that if it’s at the road for garbage, anyone else can take said items for free. I’ve heard of amazing find in the garbage, from televisions, lawn mowers, furniture, antiques. You name it. I’ve just never taken anything from the garbage before. Rob has. The old lawn mower we’ve now had for the past seven years, but I digress. That’s another story.
Today is Sunday, which is also the day Cassi, that’s our daughter, comes home from Pa’s and Nana’s house. They live in Cleveland and have her over regularly. This weekend, she went Friday night until Sunday. As Cassi puts it, “I get 2 sleepovers.” This signifies she’s there two nights.
So, this is now Sunday. After Rob comes home from work in the morning, (you see, he’s a nurse), he goes to bed for the day. Because I am sick, I sit in my recliner and go back to sleep until 1:30 pm. I get up and realize I slept half the day away! I start by making a banana cream pie. While cooking, I invite mom and dad to dinner. I tell mom I’m making roast beef, potatoes, veggies, and bread. Why not come to dinner? They were bringing Cassi home anyway.
They got here, and we ate dinner. Just a typical dinner that was completely ready in three hours!
After dinner, I took mom to my Target. The store is right around the corner, and mom wanted to buy something for her bed. She was able to get it without having to make an additional stop on the way home.
But, mom drove.
On the return trip, mom took a different route to get to my house. Since our street is just off Lake Avenue, there are a number of different ways to get there. Instead of taking Bell Avenue to Penfield Avenue, we took Courtland Street to Penfield Avenue.
After turning onto Courtland, my eyes caught a glimpse of a blue bike in someone’s garbage. It was right on the right. We got home, and I immediately ran into the house, looking for Rob.
“Rob, where are you?” I asked.
“I’m in the bathroom,” is what I heard coming from a shut bathroom door.
“Well, hurry up. Someone’s got a bike in their garbage. It looks good!” I shouted at him.
And I couldn’t wait for him. The bike was right around the corner. I walked to it. I figured Rob would hurry and bring the car. Excitement filled the air at a prospect of a new bike for us. Now that Cassi can ride her own bike without training wheels, we both need bikes to ride with her.
I got to the end of my street and make ready to turn right onto Courtland. Here comes Cassi and dad, who have been taking a walk.
Cassi says, "Where’re you going?”
I tell them both there’s a bike down this street in the garbage. “I’m going to look at it,” I tell her.
They start to follow me. Half way to Blue, dad says he has to turn back for the house to go to the bathroom.
"I wanna stay with mommy,” Cassi insists.
“No, you go back with Pa. I have to go across the street,” I tell her.
“No!” is all she says as she stomps a foot, with putting her nose in the air, cross ing her arms, and shutting her eyes.
“I can stay right here,” she then says a little more calmly.
Now it’s my turn to give out orders, “Move it right now!” is all I have to say. She knows to move when she hears my “Drill Sergeant” tone of voice.
After being very mad, Cassi goes with Pa back to the house.
I was on a reconnaissance mission. I didn’t want anyone to yell at me as I took the bike from someone’s garbage. This was the first time taking something from someone’s garbage. I know other people do it, but I didn’t want to get yelled at.
I stand there, across the street, looking at it. From that distance, I want to make sure the bike is worth taking. The bike is turquoise blue and black. The tires appeared to be new. Blue looks like it is in excellent shape. Hesitating to make sure no one was out, I walked across the street. I place my hands on the handle bars…
I took it!
I pushed the bike home. As the wheels are turning, I look at the bike again. The tires looked new, and the bike relatively new overall. It just needed a seat!
Back at the corner of my street, Rob finally shows up. I think to myself, “He sure did take a long time in the bathroom.”
“Why didn’t you take the wagon?” he asks.
“Because it was easier to walk,” I say.
It was easier to walk. I didn’t want to gain added attention with the car, which is red.
We get the bike home and look it over again. It is a little dusty, and the tired are flat. Rob inflates the tires and takes it out for a quick test ride.
“Some screws need tightening, but otherwise looks good,” Rob says.
At this point, mom and dad go home.
"Wanna go out driving?” Rob asks.
“Sure,” I say.
We go out driving in our area, but don’t find anything else worth taking. While out, we go to our local Wal-Mart. We want to price the bike against others at the store and buy a new seat. The seat, which is the top-of-the-line model with gel inserts, is $19.98 plus sales tax. There are similar bikes at Wal-Mart priced as much as $159.95 plus sales tax. Our goal is two more bikes to ride with Cassi. We have saved $160 plus sales tax on one bike. We have spent $21 dollars for a bike seat.
Now. We just have to find one more bike! With the high prices of stuff these days, anything that can be gotten for almost free is a good deal.
We’ll roll the wheels again this weekend to see if we can find another bike to make three. Then, we can ride together as a family!
Wednesday, June 07, 2006
Here is my first non-fiction story for my Creative Writing Class. This happened this past Sunday. Let me know what you think. This is the first time anyone has seen it.........
As the Wheel Turns
I saw the bike, looking to see if the owner was out. It was 6pm and their garbage was at their driveway end. The bike was there. I looked at the bike, then at the house. Would they mind? I looked again. I looked a third time. Then...
I took it!
I pushed the bike to my house. The tires looked new, and the bike relatively new overall. It just needed a seat!
After having my parents over for dinner of roast beef, potatoes, veggies, and bread, I took my mom to my Target. She wanted to buy something for her bed. She was able to get it without having to make an additional stop on the way home.
So, mom drove.
On the way back, mom took a different road to get to my house. There is any number of different ways to get to my house from the main road. Instead of taking Bell Avenue to Penfield Avenue, we took Courtland Street to Penfield Avenue.
After turning onto Courtland, I saw the bike on the right in someone's garbage. We got home, and I immediately ran into the house, looking for Rob. I shouted for him, asking him where he was.
He replied he was in the bathroom. I insisted he hurry up because someone had a bike in their garbage.
I couldn't wait for him. Because the bike was right around the corner, I walked to it. I was so excited at the prospect of a new bike for us. Now that Cassi can ride her bike without training wheels, we both need bikes to ride with her. As I got to the end of my street, here comes Cassi and my dad, who had been taking a walk. They follow me. I tell them what I am doing. Then, dad says he has to turn back to use the bathroom. I tell Cassi she has to go with him. After a little stubbornness on Cassi's part, she unwillingly goes with her Pa.
I was on a reconnaissance mission. I didn't want to have to watch her too. Plus, I didn't want anyone to yell at me as I took the bike from someone's garbage. This was the first time taking something from someone's garbage. I know other people do it, but I didn't want to get yelled at.
Anyway, across the street from the bike, I stood there, looking at the bike. From that distance, I wanted to make sure the bike was worth taking. It appeared to be in excellent shape, minus the seat. Hesitating to make sure no one was out; I walked across the street, put my hands on the handlebars, and rolled it home.
Back at the corner of my street, Rob finally comes out and asks me why I didn't take the car to get the bike. Well, it was just easier to walk. It was so close. Plus, I didn't want to gain added attention with the car, which is RED. We got the bike home, looking it over. It was a little dusty, and the tires were flat. Rob inflated the tires and took it out on a quick test ride. Some of the screws needed tightening, but otherwise, the bike was in excellent condition.
After mom and dad left to go home, we went out driving, looking to find anything else that might look good. Nothing.
We went over to the local Wal-Mart, to get a new bike seat and price the bike against others there. The bike seat, being the top of the line model with gel inserts, was $21 with sales tax. Similar bikes there were priced as much as $160. Since we need two bikes, it appears, short of the $21 bike seat, we have saved $160 plus sales tax on one bike. Now, we have to find one more. With the high prices of stuff these days, anything that can be gotten for almost free is a good deal. We'll roll the wheels again this weekend to see if we can find another bike to make it three.
Tuesday, May 23, 2006
VERY BAAAAAADDDD........
Okay, folks. I've been very bad about keeping up with my blog. But, I have good reason. Since my last post, lots has happened in my house.
I had to focus on my college classes. I had two, but they were both writing-intensive. It was Media Writing and Introduction to Poetry. For those of you who remember, this was my first semester back in college in 13 years. Well, the results are in!
Media Writing: A
Introduction to Poetry: B+
So, my GPA is: 3.65! I have NEVER had a 3.65 GPA in my entire educational career!
Also, during this time, I ended up chairing for Cassi's school, Teacher Appreciation Week. I had a team of 8 moms who helped. That week, coincidentally, occuring during my finals week at school was May 8-12. Every day, we either had breakfast or gifts or lunch for the teachers. They were all so very surprised. The reason is that the group is the Parent-Teacher Club. Well, as the chair, I didn't want any of the teachers to be involved. Because the gifts were for them, I wanted them to be completely surprised. The head of the group told me she was getting thank yous from the other teachers for the good work that was done. She told me that she had to tell them they had nothing to do with the gifts. She was just as surprised as they were.
With that, I am now in my summer semester. Because I started in the Spring, I was eligible for financial aid for summer. So, I took it. My classes are 6-weeks long. AND, I am taking Creative Writing and Priciples of Public Relations. Both classes are going to be a BEAR!
Here's my work load for Creative Writing: one 12-14 page screenplay, two short-short stories 1-3 pages, two non-fiction stories 1-3 pages, 4 form poems (sestina, villanelle, rondeau/trioloet/pantoum, and portrait poem), 8 in-class writing assignments, and 2-pages per day journals. My final is the memorization of a 20+ line poem that will be videotaped. It appears my experience in communications will help with this class. For my screenplay, I have to use my camcorder to record it or still photos. Also, we have reading to do from SIX books. AND, as a group, we have a group portfolio of everyone's works for a class assignment. I'm glad I'm not working.
Now, for my Public Relations class. As a group of 3-4, we have to determine an industry to create a group presentation. This is 40% of our grade. There will be RESEARCH, RESEARCH, RESEARCH. So, it appears every waking moment will be doing homework. Cassi will not like me once she is done with school. She'll be wanting to continually go places, but I won't be able to until the end of June. I'll make sure she's busy the entire time.
Okay. That's it for now. Since I have to keep a journal for Creative Writing, I'm going to add it here. You'll get to see what I'm doing and what's going on for the next 6 weeks. It's school-centered, but it also talks about my personal life too.
Love to all,
Cathy 8^ )
Okay, folks. I've been very bad about keeping up with my blog. But, I have good reason. Since my last post, lots has happened in my house.
I had to focus on my college classes. I had two, but they were both writing-intensive. It was Media Writing and Introduction to Poetry. For those of you who remember, this was my first semester back in college in 13 years. Well, the results are in!
Media Writing: A
Introduction to Poetry: B+
So, my GPA is: 3.65! I have NEVER had a 3.65 GPA in my entire educational career!
Also, during this time, I ended up chairing for Cassi's school, Teacher Appreciation Week. I had a team of 8 moms who helped. That week, coincidentally, occuring during my finals week at school was May 8-12. Every day, we either had breakfast or gifts or lunch for the teachers. They were all so very surprised. The reason is that the group is the Parent-Teacher Club. Well, as the chair, I didn't want any of the teachers to be involved. Because the gifts were for them, I wanted them to be completely surprised. The head of the group told me she was getting thank yous from the other teachers for the good work that was done. She told me that she had to tell them they had nothing to do with the gifts. She was just as surprised as they were.
With that, I am now in my summer semester. Because I started in the Spring, I was eligible for financial aid for summer. So, I took it. My classes are 6-weeks long. AND, I am taking Creative Writing and Priciples of Public Relations. Both classes are going to be a BEAR!
Here's my work load for Creative Writing: one 12-14 page screenplay, two short-short stories 1-3 pages, two non-fiction stories 1-3 pages, 4 form poems (sestina, villanelle, rondeau/trioloet/pantoum, and portrait poem), 8 in-class writing assignments, and 2-pages per day journals. My final is the memorization of a 20+ line poem that will be videotaped. It appears my experience in communications will help with this class. For my screenplay, I have to use my camcorder to record it or still photos. Also, we have reading to do from SIX books. AND, as a group, we have a group portfolio of everyone's works for a class assignment. I'm glad I'm not working.
Now, for my Public Relations class. As a group of 3-4, we have to determine an industry to create a group presentation. This is 40% of our grade. There will be RESEARCH, RESEARCH, RESEARCH. So, it appears every waking moment will be doing homework. Cassi will not like me once she is done with school. She'll be wanting to continually go places, but I won't be able to until the end of June. I'll make sure she's busy the entire time.
Okay. That's it for now. Since I have to keep a journal for Creative Writing, I'm going to add it here. You'll get to see what I'm doing and what's going on for the next 6 weeks. It's school-centered, but it also talks about my personal life too.
Love to all,
Cathy 8^ )
Monday, April 10, 2006
I'm a Baby...
That's what my husband said. Because I don't know how to share. It is my house; it is my phone; it is my television.
Day 2. I like to have things a certain way. I'm anal and proud of it. I don't want anyone answering my phone but Rob or I. When I want to watch tv, I only want to share with Rob.
That's how it's always been.
So, I just have to grin and bear it. I have to do my "wifely" duties, even though I don't want to. Sorry, can't go into details.
Bottom line is, my family is awesome and his family sucks!
Cathy
That's what my husband said. Because I don't know how to share. It is my house; it is my phone; it is my television.
Day 2. I like to have things a certain way. I'm anal and proud of it. I don't want anyone answering my phone but Rob or I. When I want to watch tv, I only want to share with Rob.
That's how it's always been.
So, I just have to grin and bear it. I have to do my "wifely" duties, even though I don't want to. Sorry, can't go into details.
Bottom line is, my family is awesome and his family sucks!
Cathy
Sunday, April 09, 2006
I'm a Control Freak...
I know that I am a Type-A personality. I'm always on the go. My tag-line has always been, "I go-go-g0, but when I stop, I drop."
Today started out like a pretty good day. Then again, maybe not, not that I think of it.
All of you know I like to write. But, my writing comes at the last minute, when things are due.
Today, I had an English paper to put into a final draft. Usually, I would have waited until now to even start the paper that is due tomorrow.
I'm done already. I finished it at noon. That should have told me something was wrong.
Cassi was at Pa's overnight. Because Pa and Nana got sick, they couldn't see her for the past few weeks. Not that they won't get her again on Thursday for 9 days while she is on Easter break.
When we went to pick Cassi up, I had a few errands to run. First, we had newspapers to take to the school for recycling. They get the money to use for the school. Good idea! While there, I also had to take pictures for Teacher Appreciation Week. We are using the logo in creative documents we are giving to the teachers that week. Then, Rob needed to see where he was supposed to park tomorrow on his first day of his new job at the Cleveland Clinic. Finally, I am going to Fox 8 TV on Wednesday for my Journalism class and needed to know how to get there myself.
I was happy-go-lucky the whole time away from home. It changed when we got home. I got very upset. Don't know why. Rob was asking me why, but I didn't want to tell him. Instead of trying to get me to tell him, he walked away. Making me further upset.
We haven't talked the rest of night, except to bicker. The only thing I can say is that I'm having one of my depressive episodes. I'm also having a "it's mine" episode too. So, I'm very sad right now and took a pill to help me get over this overnight.
No, Marie, don't call. I hope to be better tomorrow.
Thanks for listening.
Cathy
8^ (
I know that I am a Type-A personality. I'm always on the go. My tag-line has always been, "I go-go-g0, but when I stop, I drop."
Today started out like a pretty good day. Then again, maybe not, not that I think of it.
All of you know I like to write. But, my writing comes at the last minute, when things are due.
Today, I had an English paper to put into a final draft. Usually, I would have waited until now to even start the paper that is due tomorrow.
I'm done already. I finished it at noon. That should have told me something was wrong.
Cassi was at Pa's overnight. Because Pa and Nana got sick, they couldn't see her for the past few weeks. Not that they won't get her again on Thursday for 9 days while she is on Easter break.
When we went to pick Cassi up, I had a few errands to run. First, we had newspapers to take to the school for recycling. They get the money to use for the school. Good idea! While there, I also had to take pictures for Teacher Appreciation Week. We are using the logo in creative documents we are giving to the teachers that week. Then, Rob needed to see where he was supposed to park tomorrow on his first day of his new job at the Cleveland Clinic. Finally, I am going to Fox 8 TV on Wednesday for my Journalism class and needed to know how to get there myself.
I was happy-go-lucky the whole time away from home. It changed when we got home. I got very upset. Don't know why. Rob was asking me why, but I didn't want to tell him. Instead of trying to get me to tell him, he walked away. Making me further upset.
We haven't talked the rest of night, except to bicker. The only thing I can say is that I'm having one of my depressive episodes. I'm also having a "it's mine" episode too. So, I'm very sad right now and took a pill to help me get over this overnight.
No, Marie, don't call. I hope to be better tomorrow.
Thanks for listening.
Cathy
8^ (
Thursday, April 06, 2006
Marie, eat your heart out!
Love to all,
Cathy
8^ )
P.S. Any of the older topics will most likely get discussed as I am writing these topics above.
- My history with depression
- Why I'm going back to school (the work-thing and the family/home-thing go in this)
- My parents
- My sister
Love to all,
Cathy
8^ )
P.S. Any of the older topics will most likely get discussed as I am writing these topics above.
My Weight...Part 2 (don't forget to start with Part 1)
All through high school I had a very difficult time finding clothes, shoes, etc.
After high school, I went to college for a year in Philadelphia. I did have one boyfriend there, but it was nothing, just a small fling.
All that time, my priority was being in school. I think because of my weight issues, I focused a lot on school.
From 1990 until 1993, I worked and went to school and just stayed to myself. On a trip to Washington, D.C. I met Jason Birzer, who I am not with today. (separate story too)
In 1993, we moved here to Cleveland, OH. Just after, I started working for Ernst & Young. About a year after starting, my boss asked me if I would like to learn how to program in Lotus Notes. Sure, why not!? They paid for it. During those four months, I lost 40 pounds. I was so happy with myself. There was this guy I was working with. Because I had been losing so much weight, I started dressing classy-er with heels and dresses. One day, I passed by him, getting off the elevator, while he was getting on. He stopped and got back off the elevator. He couldn't believe how good I had looked because he hadn't seen me in a few months (travel schedules didn't mesh). He only realized it was me when he looked at my eyes.
Well, let's just say he REALLY made my day that day. I wish I had that dress to use when I can get back into it again.
Then I started traveling. I had an opportunity to travel and do technology work for the firm. When I did, we spent every evening eating out at restaurants or having dinner at banquest facilities. Well, I gained the weight back on. I've gained it ever since.
In 1999, I became pregnant with Cassi, my life and joy. In the beginning, I lost 20 pounds. My OB said that he didn't care if I lost weight the entire time, as long as Cassi was healthy. But, low and behold, I gained the 20 back and 15 more to boot.
I am very scared now. Rob says that I am currently sliding toward the 400+ weight. I don't know how to stop. Yes, I know keeping active helps. But, there has to be something more.
I'm scared because I want to live until after Rob (joke). But, I want to live a full life. I am going to try LA Weightloss Center because it seems the best for me right now. It's a weight loss program that teaches you how to cook and eat right.
The bottom line is, if I don't get the weight down, that's it for me. I know I make it all sound like a joke, but it's not. I think if I think about it too much more, I'll cry.
Plus, it's 11:30pm on a school night for me. Time to go to bed.
Love to all,
Cathy
8^ (
All through high school I had a very difficult time finding clothes, shoes, etc.
After high school, I went to college for a year in Philadelphia. I did have one boyfriend there, but it was nothing, just a small fling.
All that time, my priority was being in school. I think because of my weight issues, I focused a lot on school.
From 1990 until 1993, I worked and went to school and just stayed to myself. On a trip to Washington, D.C. I met Jason Birzer, who I am not with today. (separate story too)
In 1993, we moved here to Cleveland, OH. Just after, I started working for Ernst & Young. About a year after starting, my boss asked me if I would like to learn how to program in Lotus Notes. Sure, why not!? They paid for it. During those four months, I lost 40 pounds. I was so happy with myself. There was this guy I was working with. Because I had been losing so much weight, I started dressing classy-er with heels and dresses. One day, I passed by him, getting off the elevator, while he was getting on. He stopped and got back off the elevator. He couldn't believe how good I had looked because he hadn't seen me in a few months (travel schedules didn't mesh). He only realized it was me when he looked at my eyes.
Well, let's just say he REALLY made my day that day. I wish I had that dress to use when I can get back into it again.
Then I started traveling. I had an opportunity to travel and do technology work for the firm. When I did, we spent every evening eating out at restaurants or having dinner at banquest facilities. Well, I gained the weight back on. I've gained it ever since.
In 1999, I became pregnant with Cassi, my life and joy. In the beginning, I lost 20 pounds. My OB said that he didn't care if I lost weight the entire time, as long as Cassi was healthy. But, low and behold, I gained the 20 back and 15 more to boot.
I am very scared now. Rob says that I am currently sliding toward the 400+ weight. I don't know how to stop. Yes, I know keeping active helps. But, there has to be something more.
I'm scared because I want to live until after Rob (joke). But, I want to live a full life. I am going to try LA Weightloss Center because it seems the best for me right now. It's a weight loss program that teaches you how to cook and eat right.
The bottom line is, if I don't get the weight down, that's it for me. I know I make it all sound like a joke, but it's not. I think if I think about it too much more, I'll cry.
Plus, it's 11:30pm on a school night for me. Time to go to bed.
Love to all,
Cathy
8^ (
My Weight...
Okay. I'm about to discuss an item on my list, AND IT'S A HUGE ONE!
All of my life, I have dealt with weight problems, but mostly from fourth grade on. I have school pictures that show how chubby I was. I don't even remember how it all happened.
I remember, we used to have snack time each morning in first grade. Mom would pack me twinkies. I always remember Laura Colby (if you're reading, I still remember you!) bringing in white American cheese. I also remember always switching the twinkies for the cheese.
I do remember not being very active. I just wasn't interested in playing outside, even though mom would always say, go outside and play. There were kids in the neighborhood, but I just didn't think I belonged.
But, until fourth grade, my mom was home with me. I learned about soap operas and watch them to this day (yep, over 20 years of experience!).
Come fifth grade, I was already wearing a bra, which I don't think anyone else was at that time. I realized at that point that, even though I knew a lot of people, I didn't have many friends. Even the person I thought was my best friend I just wasn't sure about.
So, all through high school, I gained weight. I didn't have one boyfriend; I didn't attend the prom, homecoming, or any other boy-girl date dances. But, I had LOTS of friends, male and female. None of the boys wanted to date me.
I know I dealt with a lot of depression in high school (different blog story). There would be a new guy that I was attracted to. I would approach this guy of my intentions, that I was interested in going out with him, even if we went dutch. But, everytime the guy shot me down. I would go home and cry for a day or more. After I cried, I was fine. I usually ended up being friends with the guys. I figured I might as well be friends. I think at that time, I learned how to deal with depression.
Right after high school, I started having my first of three knee surgeries on my right knee. Well, being even more inactive due to surgery didn't help. Right now, it's not helping me either.
...more to come.
Okay. I'm about to discuss an item on my list, AND IT'S A HUGE ONE!
All of my life, I have dealt with weight problems, but mostly from fourth grade on. I have school pictures that show how chubby I was. I don't even remember how it all happened.
I remember, we used to have snack time each morning in first grade. Mom would pack me twinkies. I always remember Laura Colby (if you're reading, I still remember you!) bringing in white American cheese. I also remember always switching the twinkies for the cheese.
I do remember not being very active. I just wasn't interested in playing outside, even though mom would always say, go outside and play. There were kids in the neighborhood, but I just didn't think I belonged.
But, until fourth grade, my mom was home with me. I learned about soap operas and watch them to this day (yep, over 20 years of experience!).
Come fifth grade, I was already wearing a bra, which I don't think anyone else was at that time. I realized at that point that, even though I knew a lot of people, I didn't have many friends. Even the person I thought was my best friend I just wasn't sure about.
So, all through high school, I gained weight. I didn't have one boyfriend; I didn't attend the prom, homecoming, or any other boy-girl date dances. But, I had LOTS of friends, male and female. None of the boys wanted to date me.
I know I dealt with a lot of depression in high school (different blog story). There would be a new guy that I was attracted to. I would approach this guy of my intentions, that I was interested in going out with him, even if we went dutch. But, everytime the guy shot me down. I would go home and cry for a day or more. After I cried, I was fine. I usually ended up being friends with the guys. I figured I might as well be friends. I think at that time, I learned how to deal with depression.
Right after high school, I started having my first of three knee surgeries on my right knee. Well, being even more inactive due to surgery didn't help. Right now, it's not helping me either.
...more to come.
Sunday, April 02, 2006
My Trip to the Plain Dealer...
Okay, almost two weeks since my last post. I dropped my math class. Yep, I did. I thought I was passing, but didn't really know. So, I took the withdraw (W). Since I transferred into the college with math credits, and I'm really only .7 credits short (that's point 7), I'm going to try to petition for them to give me the credit.
Even though I'm down to two classes, my class load seems to have grown, mostly from my Media Writing (AKA Journalism). In the past month, we have been doing all kind of writing assignments. There was the "Man on the Street" interviews. We had a columnist from The Plain Dealer, John Campanelli, come in. He gave us a presentation and we asked him questions for a news story. Then, Thom Greer, retired Senior Vice President of The Plain Dealer, who basically did the same thing for us. However, with this story, the best news story would be published in the student Communication's Department Laboratory newspaper. Guess what? I was that story. The story is going to be published this week. I think it was due, in part, because I did extra research after to get extra information about him for the story. Plus, I was so excited to meet someone who's here, who's from my home state. He grew up in Pt. Pleasant (08742), New Jersey. Plus, he started out in news at the Trenton Times; a newspaper that we read regularly while growing up. I'll post the news story after it's been published.
On March 22, we took a field trip to Euclid, Ohio and met the mayor, Mayor Bill Cervenik. We held the meeting like a news conference, and, of course, did a news story about the news conference. After we got the stories back, my grade was 9.5 out of a possible 10 points. We discussed the information from the news conference. Someone tried to tell me that my facts were not correct. Because I've been tape recording the projects, I went back to my tape to prove I was right. Plus, I've been recording the projects to get accurate quotes for my news stories. EXCELLENT OPTION!
So, this past Friday, we took another field trip to The Plain Dealer. For those of you who might not know of the newspaper, it's the main newspaper for Cleveland, Ohio. We had an opportunity to sit in on their 4 p.m. Editor's Meeting. This meeting determines what stories will be on the front page of the first section of the newspaper for the next morning. They also showed photos and decided which stories could wait a day or two.
They went around the room and talked about the different segments of the newspaper. There was a story that was going to be on the front page, that also had additional information and photo slide show on their website, www.cleveland.com. They turned to us as visitors and asked if we had ever viewed additional information like that on their website. One of the editors argued that they wouldn't know about the slide show until they read the newspaper. Well, he asked again. Plus, he asked us how the website worked for us, were we able to search, etc.
I told him that I've never seen slide shows or anything like that from the website. Plus, it was very difficult to search. I had however been able to find information I was looking for by doing a "google" search (but I use Yahoo!). I had been able to find pages through Yahoo!, but was unable to find them directly through cleveland.com. The website really SUCKS for search capabilities. He didn't like that answer. But, one of the editors also agreed with what I said about search capabilities.
Then, he asked us if any of us were journalism majors. There were five of us from class. Because not all of us could go, the instructor gave us 3 extra credit points for going. Anyway, we all said no. I elaborated that, No, I wasn't a journalism major, but I was an English major. I guess he was really offended because he grunted and dropped the entire subject. That was it for talking with the editors.
The whole point of going was a networking opportunity for us. They were supposed to be giving us their business cards for coming for when we graduated. Well, I bit my tongue, which I should not have done, in hindsight. After, I told my instructor that I wanted to tell him that just because I was an English major doesn't mean that I didn't like to write. I love to write, ANYTHING. That's why you all live through my funky blog posts. But, I'm also getting A's in this class because I do like to write. The instructor told us we should have argued back to get them to listen to us. I just figured I was showing respect. GUESS I WAS WRONG!
Okay. Gotta go for now. I've got lots to do and about an hour to do it in. Rob goes tomorrow morning to the Cleveland Clinic Foundation for his prestart date HR stuff and medical stuff. So, I've got to get up early, plus get Cassi and I ready for schools.
Love to all,
Cathy 8^ )
Okay, almost two weeks since my last post. I dropped my math class. Yep, I did. I thought I was passing, but didn't really know. So, I took the withdraw (W). Since I transferred into the college with math credits, and I'm really only .7 credits short (that's point 7), I'm going to try to petition for them to give me the credit.
Even though I'm down to two classes, my class load seems to have grown, mostly from my Media Writing (AKA Journalism). In the past month, we have been doing all kind of writing assignments. There was the "Man on the Street" interviews. We had a columnist from The Plain Dealer, John Campanelli, come in. He gave us a presentation and we asked him questions for a news story. Then, Thom Greer, retired Senior Vice President of The Plain Dealer, who basically did the same thing for us. However, with this story, the best news story would be published in the student Communication's Department Laboratory newspaper. Guess what? I was that story. The story is going to be published this week. I think it was due, in part, because I did extra research after to get extra information about him for the story. Plus, I was so excited to meet someone who's here, who's from my home state. He grew up in Pt. Pleasant (08742), New Jersey. Plus, he started out in news at the Trenton Times; a newspaper that we read regularly while growing up. I'll post the news story after it's been published.
On March 22, we took a field trip to Euclid, Ohio and met the mayor, Mayor Bill Cervenik. We held the meeting like a news conference, and, of course, did a news story about the news conference. After we got the stories back, my grade was 9.5 out of a possible 10 points. We discussed the information from the news conference. Someone tried to tell me that my facts were not correct. Because I've been tape recording the projects, I went back to my tape to prove I was right. Plus, I've been recording the projects to get accurate quotes for my news stories. EXCELLENT OPTION!
So, this past Friday, we took another field trip to The Plain Dealer. For those of you who might not know of the newspaper, it's the main newspaper for Cleveland, Ohio. We had an opportunity to sit in on their 4 p.m. Editor's Meeting. This meeting determines what stories will be on the front page of the first section of the newspaper for the next morning. They also showed photos and decided which stories could wait a day or two.
They went around the room and talked about the different segments of the newspaper. There was a story that was going to be on the front page, that also had additional information and photo slide show on their website, www.cleveland.com. They turned to us as visitors and asked if we had ever viewed additional information like that on their website. One of the editors argued that they wouldn't know about the slide show until they read the newspaper. Well, he asked again. Plus, he asked us how the website worked for us, were we able to search, etc.
I told him that I've never seen slide shows or anything like that from the website. Plus, it was very difficult to search. I had however been able to find information I was looking for by doing a "google" search (but I use Yahoo!). I had been able to find pages through Yahoo!, but was unable to find them directly through cleveland.com. The website really SUCKS for search capabilities. He didn't like that answer. But, one of the editors also agreed with what I said about search capabilities.
Then, he asked us if any of us were journalism majors. There were five of us from class. Because not all of us could go, the instructor gave us 3 extra credit points for going. Anyway, we all said no. I elaborated that, No, I wasn't a journalism major, but I was an English major. I guess he was really offended because he grunted and dropped the entire subject. That was it for talking with the editors.
The whole point of going was a networking opportunity for us. They were supposed to be giving us their business cards for coming for when we graduated. Well, I bit my tongue, which I should not have done, in hindsight. After, I told my instructor that I wanted to tell him that just because I was an English major doesn't mean that I didn't like to write. I love to write, ANYTHING. That's why you all live through my funky blog posts. But, I'm also getting A's in this class because I do like to write. The instructor told us we should have argued back to get them to listen to us. I just figured I was showing respect. GUESS I WAS WRONG!
Okay. Gotta go for now. I've got lots to do and about an hour to do it in. Rob goes tomorrow morning to the Cleveland Clinic Foundation for his prestart date HR stuff and medical stuff. So, I've got to get up early, plus get Cassi and I ready for schools.
Love to all,
Cathy 8^ )
Monday, March 20, 2006
New Template
Okay, friends! I've changed my template. I didn't like the "all pink" hues of my blog before today! So, I changed it. I'm much more the blues and greys kind of girl. I'm much more subdued, like this template I found.
Last week was Spring Break for me. Cassi still had school. I was STILL married. So, last week was about trying to catch up on laundry, dishes, etc. Stuff that I have to do EVERYDAY anyway. Let's just say, I really did housework last week.
Plus, even though I had a WHOLE WEEK to do homework, did I? You got it! Nope! I didn't start homework until Friday. Plus, Rob was off a few days while I was, so I wanted to spend time with him.
For those of you who don't remember, we had our 9th anniversary on 3/14. I made dinner, but can't remember what?
I'm working right now on brain burnout. We got back a news story that we wrote before break. A man came in to visit us and answer our questions. He was retired from the Cleveland Plain Dealer. My story was picked to be published this week.
There is a lab newspaper that is published weekly for Journalism students at Cleveland State University. Our instructor is the faculty advisor for this newspaper. Of course, he was us in the Media Writing class to have one story published. I had to come home today with some minor changes for the paper. I've been going non-stop since I walked in the door.
I, picked up Cassi from school at 3:15, came home and cooked dinner (home-made burgers and onion rings), remanipulated my story and emailed it back to my instructor, and then have been getting everything ready for tomorrow.
On Tuesday, I have to head to Mayfield, which is east of downtown Cleveland, to meet with our speaker and take a few pictures for the story that will be running this week. Then, I am going to school on my day off to meet with someone in carrer services, talk with someone in the library, and finish my story for this week's publication.
So, for a day off of school, I've got lots to do! And that's not all my housecleaning that I usually do on Tuesday's.
Plus, Wednesday, we head to Euclid City Hall for a press conference with the Mayor. Euclid is also a suburb east of downtown Cleveland. This is a news story of Journalism. I've got a meeting with the department chair of the History Department on Thursday for a story for my beat in Journalism.
Then, I've got my second English paper due in first draft next Monday. This is where the library comes into play. I haven't had to do citing of sources in an English paper in 13 years. I have to now. The professor called it MA citing, which I know nothing about. It's probably something I did over a decade ago, but it was called something else then.
Okay. My brain is FRIED. I need to close this for now.
Love to all,
Cathy
Okay, friends! I've changed my template. I didn't like the "all pink" hues of my blog before today! So, I changed it. I'm much more the blues and greys kind of girl. I'm much more subdued, like this template I found.
Last week was Spring Break for me. Cassi still had school. I was STILL married. So, last week was about trying to catch up on laundry, dishes, etc. Stuff that I have to do EVERYDAY anyway. Let's just say, I really did housework last week.
Plus, even though I had a WHOLE WEEK to do homework, did I? You got it! Nope! I didn't start homework until Friday. Plus, Rob was off a few days while I was, so I wanted to spend time with him.
For those of you who don't remember, we had our 9th anniversary on 3/14. I made dinner, but can't remember what?
I'm working right now on brain burnout. We got back a news story that we wrote before break. A man came in to visit us and answer our questions. He was retired from the Cleveland Plain Dealer. My story was picked to be published this week.
There is a lab newspaper that is published weekly for Journalism students at Cleveland State University. Our instructor is the faculty advisor for this newspaper. Of course, he was us in the Media Writing class to have one story published. I had to come home today with some minor changes for the paper. I've been going non-stop since I walked in the door.
I, picked up Cassi from school at 3:15, came home and cooked dinner (home-made burgers and onion rings), remanipulated my story and emailed it back to my instructor, and then have been getting everything ready for tomorrow.
On Tuesday, I have to head to Mayfield, which is east of downtown Cleveland, to meet with our speaker and take a few pictures for the story that will be running this week. Then, I am going to school on my day off to meet with someone in carrer services, talk with someone in the library, and finish my story for this week's publication.
So, for a day off of school, I've got lots to do! And that's not all my housecleaning that I usually do on Tuesday's.
Plus, Wednesday, we head to Euclid City Hall for a press conference with the Mayor. Euclid is also a suburb east of downtown Cleveland. This is a news story of Journalism. I've got a meeting with the department chair of the History Department on Thursday for a story for my beat in Journalism.
Then, I've got my second English paper due in first draft next Monday. This is where the library comes into play. I haven't had to do citing of sources in an English paper in 13 years. I have to now. The professor called it MA citing, which I know nothing about. It's probably something I did over a decade ago, but it was called something else then.
Okay. My brain is FRIED. I need to close this for now.
Love to all,
Cathy
Sunday, March 05, 2006
New and updated list...
- My history with depression
- Why I'm going back to school (the work-thing and the family/home-thing go in this)
- My parents
- My weight issues...
- My sister (Marie, you're now #5!)
Okay, here's my updated list of specific topics I want to cover. Don't know how long it will take to cover them, but these are it. Yep, Marie, you're moving up the ladder. Maybe I'll talk about you next this week!
Love to all,
Cathy 8^ )
Rob and I, continued....
So, Rob answered my add just after Valentine's Day. He stated to me that he didn't live half way across the world and wanted to get to know me. I replied directly to his email address through my work address. At the time, my email was cathy.valliere at ey.com. From this email, he was able to look me up through the internet and call my apartment. I was shocked and excited as well. Who was this guy who was so worried about me because of my email address and called? He said he was concerned because Ernst & Young (who I worked for at the time) used our full first and last names in our email address. I never saw any problem.
Anyway, we spent the first week getting to know each other through email and the phone. Also, that same week, instead of working in our downtown Cleveland offices, I was working at our training facility in Middleburg Heights. Within a few days, he calls me and tells me that he sent a surprise to me at work! Well, I was so excited, but also sad. I had never gotten anything at work, but all the other girls there did! So, he had to get off the phone and re-route my package to my apartment. When I got home, at my front door was a half dozen red roses. I was so excited to see them! My neighbor was so jealous. She brought in the roses because they had been left outside at the side door.
That next weekend, we had our first date. He took me to Lone Star Steakhouse and to see The Empire Strikes Back! Yes, folks. I am a Star Wars buff. When he came to pick me up, the first thing I did was give him a hug. I love to hug people, so this is what I would have done. He was so shocked. The next day, I had a tremendous amount of laundry to do. So, I told him to come over. I would cook him dinner, and we would have date 2 at my house. Since my parents lived across the street, my laundry went there where I could wash it for free! (such luck!) We went up stairs, and Rob met my parents. On date 2, we discussed the idea of getting married. I figured, "What the heck!" I felt like it. It sounded like a good idea!
That next Wednesday, Rob came over and spent the night. In the parking lot of my apartment building, there was only room for three cars. So, my car (oh yeah! A month after I dropped Jason, I went out and bought my own first car! A saturn!) went across the street to my grandfather's parking lot. You see, my parents live in the same building with my grandfather, his business on the first floor and two apartments on the second. The next day, I went to retrieve my car. I went upstairs to say hello to mom and dad.
Dad says to me, "I see you had company last night!"
Was I embarrassed as heck or what!? I replied yep. Not much to say here!
Dad says to me again, "Where did you meet him?" Where I replied on the Internet. He says, "Oh, you have to watch those guys on the Internet. Remember, if you look in the trunk of his car and find a bowl and some flakes, RUN LIKE HELL! He's a Cereal Killer!"
Oh, my god! My dad just busted on Rob! Okay, here's the deal. If my dad likes you, he picks on you. In the four years I dated Jason, he didn't once pick on Jason. So, I just knew that my dad approved of Rob. Believe me, Rob and my dad are completely the SAME!
After that, I started staying at Rob's apartment and commuting into town to work. Rob lived in Elyria, about a half hour from my apartment.
We got married on March 14, 1997! We're coming up to our ninth wedding anniversary. It has been good times and bad ever since. Mom and dad treat Rob like their missing son! Go figure!
When my parents found out we were getting married, they were cool with it. Rob's parents wanted to disown him. With or without their approval, we got married. It was a civil ceremony, in front of a judge. The whole thing took five minutes. My mom came to the ceremony; then we went to Outback Steakhouse for dinner! Rob's mom was very jealous because at first my mom wasn't going to be there because of a dentist appointment. At the last minute, she rescheduled the appointment and went. Well, we didn't call his mom to tell her of my mom's change of plans, which further pissed her off.
Oh, well!
The week after we got married, I had to take my first-ever major business trip. I had to go to Phoenix for 10 days. While I was away, Rob and my dad moved all my JUNK from my apartment to his. What a site when I got back, jet-lagged and exhausted! Just about ALL my stuff was in a separate storage room, where I had to make heads or tails of the stuff. My stove, tv, and bed all went to my mom. The two dressers I had went to an antique dealer.
Remember all those emails Rob sent me? Well, I still have them to this day! For those of you who don't know, we are a family of 3. It's Rob, me, and our daughter, Cassi. Plus, the adopted cat, Charlie. That's all we need.
All my life, growing up, I admantly denied that I would ever have a family. I didn't want to get married, just have a career. Of course, I didn't want kids. But, Cassi is a hoot! She can be a real PITA (pain in the a**). But, she can also be so much fun. You can see all the wonder that is going on in her brain.
Okay, enough of that for now, I have to get back to my English paper. I've got the final due tomorrow. I had to analyze a poem. Of course, I do things at the last minute, but it's done so well.
Love to all,
Cathy 8^ )
So, Rob answered my add just after Valentine's Day. He stated to me that he didn't live half way across the world and wanted to get to know me. I replied directly to his email address through my work address. At the time, my email was cathy.valliere at ey.com. From this email, he was able to look me up through the internet and call my apartment. I was shocked and excited as well. Who was this guy who was so worried about me because of my email address and called? He said he was concerned because Ernst & Young (who I worked for at the time) used our full first and last names in our email address. I never saw any problem.
Anyway, we spent the first week getting to know each other through email and the phone. Also, that same week, instead of working in our downtown Cleveland offices, I was working at our training facility in Middleburg Heights. Within a few days, he calls me and tells me that he sent a surprise to me at work! Well, I was so excited, but also sad. I had never gotten anything at work, but all the other girls there did! So, he had to get off the phone and re-route my package to my apartment. When I got home, at my front door was a half dozen red roses. I was so excited to see them! My neighbor was so jealous. She brought in the roses because they had been left outside at the side door.
That next weekend, we had our first date. He took me to Lone Star Steakhouse and to see The Empire Strikes Back! Yes, folks. I am a Star Wars buff. When he came to pick me up, the first thing I did was give him a hug. I love to hug people, so this is what I would have done. He was so shocked. The next day, I had a tremendous amount of laundry to do. So, I told him to come over. I would cook him dinner, and we would have date 2 at my house. Since my parents lived across the street, my laundry went there where I could wash it for free! (such luck!) We went up stairs, and Rob met my parents. On date 2, we discussed the idea of getting married. I figured, "What the heck!" I felt like it. It sounded like a good idea!
That next Wednesday, Rob came over and spent the night. In the parking lot of my apartment building, there was only room for three cars. So, my car (oh yeah! A month after I dropped Jason, I went out and bought my own first car! A saturn!) went across the street to my grandfather's parking lot. You see, my parents live in the same building with my grandfather, his business on the first floor and two apartments on the second. The next day, I went to retrieve my car. I went upstairs to say hello to mom and dad.
Dad says to me, "I see you had company last night!"
Was I embarrassed as heck or what!? I replied yep. Not much to say here!
Dad says to me again, "Where did you meet him?" Where I replied on the Internet. He says, "Oh, you have to watch those guys on the Internet. Remember, if you look in the trunk of his car and find a bowl and some flakes, RUN LIKE HELL! He's a Cereal Killer!"
Oh, my god! My dad just busted on Rob! Okay, here's the deal. If my dad likes you, he picks on you. In the four years I dated Jason, he didn't once pick on Jason. So, I just knew that my dad approved of Rob. Believe me, Rob and my dad are completely the SAME!
After that, I started staying at Rob's apartment and commuting into town to work. Rob lived in Elyria, about a half hour from my apartment.
We got married on March 14, 1997! We're coming up to our ninth wedding anniversary. It has been good times and bad ever since. Mom and dad treat Rob like their missing son! Go figure!
When my parents found out we were getting married, they were cool with it. Rob's parents wanted to disown him. With or without their approval, we got married. It was a civil ceremony, in front of a judge. The whole thing took five minutes. My mom came to the ceremony; then we went to Outback Steakhouse for dinner! Rob's mom was very jealous because at first my mom wasn't going to be there because of a dentist appointment. At the last minute, she rescheduled the appointment and went. Well, we didn't call his mom to tell her of my mom's change of plans, which further pissed her off.
Oh, well!
The week after we got married, I had to take my first-ever major business trip. I had to go to Phoenix for 10 days. While I was away, Rob and my dad moved all my JUNK from my apartment to his. What a site when I got back, jet-lagged and exhausted! Just about ALL my stuff was in a separate storage room, where I had to make heads or tails of the stuff. My stove, tv, and bed all went to my mom. The two dressers I had went to an antique dealer.
Remember all those emails Rob sent me? Well, I still have them to this day! For those of you who don't know, we are a family of 3. It's Rob, me, and our daughter, Cassi. Plus, the adopted cat, Charlie. That's all we need.
All my life, growing up, I admantly denied that I would ever have a family. I didn't want to get married, just have a career. Of course, I didn't want kids. But, Cassi is a hoot! She can be a real PITA (pain in the a**). But, she can also be so much fun. You can see all the wonder that is going on in her brain.
Okay, enough of that for now, I have to get back to my English paper. I've got the final due tomorrow. I had to analyze a poem. Of course, I do things at the last minute, but it's done so well.
Love to all,
Cathy 8^ )
Saturday, March 04, 2006
How Rob and I got married...
Okay, I'm going to spend some time over the next week talking about my "list of topics" from earlier.
As for a little history, I had met this guy, Jason Birzer, in Washington, D.C. We met in passing on the subway system. At this time, I'm not going to get into detail about Jason, just that we dated for four years. At the end, he complained to me that I wasn't trying hard enough to be with him in the Washington area. I had indeed tried very hard to get a job in that market. But, I had a lot of bills at that time. For me to move to that area, I would have needed to buy a car and insurance, along with rent an appartment, which would have costed me over $800 a month. At the time, I was living in an apartment for $200 a month and didn't need a car or car insurance. The only position I was able to find was comparable in salary to the one I had. Now, I was being very logical about the whole issue. Why should I move to another part of the country, paying more than I needed, for the same pay? Plus, Jason was planning on moving in with me. So, what was the point? I dropped him like a dead weight.
After that, work started to go well and I was working a lot of extra hours at the office. One particular Saturday, I was working and the computer decided it didn't. So, instead of working, I be-bopped around the internet and found Match.com. Don't ask me how I got there, I just did. I applied and looked around. That was in November of 1996. By February, I had received an email from Rob (of course I don't know him yet), stating that he didn't live around the world, etc and wanted to meet. I figured why not?
It was a week after Valentine's Day when we met through the internet....
Okay. That's it for tonight. More to follow tomorrow.
Love to all,
Cathy 8^ )
Okay, I'm going to spend some time over the next week talking about my "list of topics" from earlier.
As for a little history, I had met this guy, Jason Birzer, in Washington, D.C. We met in passing on the subway system. At this time, I'm not going to get into detail about Jason, just that we dated for four years. At the end, he complained to me that I wasn't trying hard enough to be with him in the Washington area. I had indeed tried very hard to get a job in that market. But, I had a lot of bills at that time. For me to move to that area, I would have needed to buy a car and insurance, along with rent an appartment, which would have costed me over $800 a month. At the time, I was living in an apartment for $200 a month and didn't need a car or car insurance. The only position I was able to find was comparable in salary to the one I had. Now, I was being very logical about the whole issue. Why should I move to another part of the country, paying more than I needed, for the same pay? Plus, Jason was planning on moving in with me. So, what was the point? I dropped him like a dead weight.
After that, work started to go well and I was working a lot of extra hours at the office. One particular Saturday, I was working and the computer decided it didn't. So, instead of working, I be-bopped around the internet and found Match.com. Don't ask me how I got there, I just did. I applied and looked around. That was in November of 1996. By February, I had received an email from Rob (of course I don't know him yet), stating that he didn't live around the world, etc and wanted to meet. I figured why not?
It was a week after Valentine's Day when we met through the internet....
Okay. That's it for tonight. More to follow tomorrow.
Love to all,
Cathy 8^ )
Current classes... Updates!
Okay, last week, in Journalism, we had a guest speaker. He does a special section of the Sunday Plain Dealer. He came into class, talked to us about what he does, how he got there, etc. We also had to come to class with questions ready to ask him, much like a news conference.
I came to class with a tape recorder. Boy, was that ever HELPFUL. I was able to record the entire class, which helped me to re-listen to the discussion to include exact quotations in my news story. I received a 5 out of 5 for the news story! It appears I may get an A in the class, which is my goal!
My math class is something else. We had our first exam. My score was 51 percent. Okay, that was pretty bad. But, the highest score was a 79, and my grade was the sixth highest. The average grade was a 17! He wouldn't give letters grades for the percentages, but it appears that for his grading system, I'm about a B. Even if I get a C, that would be fine for my GPA.
My English class has become a hoot! I am always saying that I don't like analyzing poetry. But, according to grades we have gotten back, it appears that I'm better at it than I thought. We have in-class writing assignments. She has given us back two of the assignments thus far. Both of these assignments would make a grade between an A and a B.
I would LOVE to get a 3.0 GPA for my first semester. Once my grades are in, I'll start applying for scholarships. I think with a good GPA like a 3.0, I'll be able to get a few, even if they help pay for part of my schooling.
Love to all,
Cathy 8^ )
Okay, last week, in Journalism, we had a guest speaker. He does a special section of the Sunday Plain Dealer. He came into class, talked to us about what he does, how he got there, etc. We also had to come to class with questions ready to ask him, much like a news conference.
I came to class with a tape recorder. Boy, was that ever HELPFUL. I was able to record the entire class, which helped me to re-listen to the discussion to include exact quotations in my news story. I received a 5 out of 5 for the news story! It appears I may get an A in the class, which is my goal!
My math class is something else. We had our first exam. My score was 51 percent. Okay, that was pretty bad. But, the highest score was a 79, and my grade was the sixth highest. The average grade was a 17! He wouldn't give letters grades for the percentages, but it appears that for his grading system, I'm about a B. Even if I get a C, that would be fine for my GPA.
My English class has become a hoot! I am always saying that I don't like analyzing poetry. But, according to grades we have gotten back, it appears that I'm better at it than I thought. We have in-class writing assignments. She has given us back two of the assignments thus far. Both of these assignments would make a grade between an A and a B.
I would LOVE to get a 3.0 GPA for my first semester. Once my grades are in, I'll start applying for scholarships. I think with a good GPA like a 3.0, I'll be able to get a few, even if they help pay for part of my schooling.
Love to all,
Cathy 8^ )
Slacked off on my writing!
Okay, sorry to y'all about my not writing in ALMOST 2 WEEKS! It has been VERY stressful and hectic here at the homestead. The main problem was the dogs. You see, since we had gotten the dogs, I was unable to go anywhere. My girlfriend, Jacci, well, she lives in Euclid. I haven't seen her in ages. A trip to her house is one hour, one way. Rob and I also have campground friends, who live in Wooster. A trip to their house is an hour and a half, one way. Needless to say, all I have done for the past 2 months was: 1. be mom to the puppies, 2. be mom to Cassi, 3. go to school. I have had NO social life. The most Rob and I had the chance to get out was going to the Home & Garden Show, which we were out for four hours. Let's just say the puppies needed to pee a river when we got home!
I kept saying to Rob that it was very difficult for me to be able to do all the things I needed to do to get my grades and not have so much stress. Plus, on top of it all, my sleep was starting to get affected from all the stress. So, he kept saying to me, "If you don't want the dogs anymore, call Dave & Pat and give them back." I wanted him to confess that it had been a bad idea to get the puppies, which he finally did last week. Pat & Dave Manning were the couple who play Santa & Mrs. Claus for the kids at the Kindergarten Village where Cassi is going this year. Because of them loosing the mom of the puppies from the fire, along with four of the six puppies (we got the only two survivors), I contacted them about the stress we have been dealing with.
So, last Wednesday, we took the puppies back. Last Monday, I talked with Cassi, explaining to her we needed to give the puppies back. She started to cry. Since they came into our lives, she has been pushed into her bedroom. She has kept trying to bring her toys out, play dress-up in the living room, etc. But, because the puppies lived in the living room, NOTHING of hers could come out there. They were chewing up everything in sight. But, I explained, that once the puppies go to their old home, we would be able to see our friends, "Nana Betty" (from campground), Aunt Jacci (in Euclid), and Aunt Patty (in Brunswick). She said, Okay, let's take them back. After taking them on Wednesday, we continued our trip to Wooster to see Nana Betty. Cassi just loves visiting with Bob & Betty.
So, it has been VERY quiet since they've been gone. We just have Charlie, our cat, who adopted us at Christmas 2004.
Today, after taking Cassi to Pa's for an overnight sleepover, Rob took his afternoon nap for work, and I took a nap in the living room. The nap was three hours. I could imagine what Charlie was saying when she laid down on my chest to help me to sleep. "Oh, the dogs are gone. Mom is sitting in the recliner with her blanket and pillow for a nap. I get to FINALLY take a nap with her on her boobs!" So, she slept with the entire time I was sleeping. We used to do this constantly before the puppies. I know she's happy.
So, I'll be able to continue my writing here more regularly!
Love to all,
Cathy 8^ )
Okay, sorry to y'all about my not writing in ALMOST 2 WEEKS! It has been VERY stressful and hectic here at the homestead. The main problem was the dogs. You see, since we had gotten the dogs, I was unable to go anywhere. My girlfriend, Jacci, well, she lives in Euclid. I haven't seen her in ages. A trip to her house is one hour, one way. Rob and I also have campground friends, who live in Wooster. A trip to their house is an hour and a half, one way. Needless to say, all I have done for the past 2 months was: 1. be mom to the puppies, 2. be mom to Cassi, 3. go to school. I have had NO social life. The most Rob and I had the chance to get out was going to the Home & Garden Show, which we were out for four hours. Let's just say the puppies needed to pee a river when we got home!
I kept saying to Rob that it was very difficult for me to be able to do all the things I needed to do to get my grades and not have so much stress. Plus, on top of it all, my sleep was starting to get affected from all the stress. So, he kept saying to me, "If you don't want the dogs anymore, call Dave & Pat and give them back." I wanted him to confess that it had been a bad idea to get the puppies, which he finally did last week. Pat & Dave Manning were the couple who play Santa & Mrs. Claus for the kids at the Kindergarten Village where Cassi is going this year. Because of them loosing the mom of the puppies from the fire, along with four of the six puppies (we got the only two survivors), I contacted them about the stress we have been dealing with.
So, last Wednesday, we took the puppies back. Last Monday, I talked with Cassi, explaining to her we needed to give the puppies back. She started to cry. Since they came into our lives, she has been pushed into her bedroom. She has kept trying to bring her toys out, play dress-up in the living room, etc. But, because the puppies lived in the living room, NOTHING of hers could come out there. They were chewing up everything in sight. But, I explained, that once the puppies go to their old home, we would be able to see our friends, "Nana Betty" (from campground), Aunt Jacci (in Euclid), and Aunt Patty (in Brunswick). She said, Okay, let's take them back. After taking them on Wednesday, we continued our trip to Wooster to see Nana Betty. Cassi just loves visiting with Bob & Betty.
So, it has been VERY quiet since they've been gone. We just have Charlie, our cat, who adopted us at Christmas 2004.
Today, after taking Cassi to Pa's for an overnight sleepover, Rob took his afternoon nap for work, and I took a nap in the living room. The nap was three hours. I could imagine what Charlie was saying when she laid down on my chest to help me to sleep. "Oh, the dogs are gone. Mom is sitting in the recliner with her blanket and pillow for a nap. I get to FINALLY take a nap with her on her boobs!" So, she slept with the entire time I was sleeping. We used to do this constantly before the puppies. I know she's happy.
So, I'll be able to continue my writing here more regularly!
Love to all,
Cathy 8^ )
Saturday, February 18, 2006
4 out of 5! That's what I got on my interview. I had one grammatical error; I forgot a comma. I had one paraphrase error. And, he didn't like my opening paragraph. So, if I rewrite the story, which I have already done, I will get a half point more.
So, I'll get that 4.5 out of 5 yet.
Love to all,
Cathy 8^ )
So, I'll get that 4.5 out of 5 yet.
Love to all,
Cathy 8^ )
Friday, February 17, 2006
Man-on-the-Street...the interview went better than planned. My concern was getting 2 people to give me their names, along with answering my questions for my interview. But, luckily, I was able to find a group of 5, who all allowed me to use their names AND answered my questions. The news story had to be 100 words minimum, with 2 sources. I had 250+ words and 5 sources. The story I was able to use was from the Plain Dealer on 2/14/05. It was a front-page story talking about how victims of bullies and their families are suing bullies and their families for monetary damages caused by being bullied. The story was very interesting. You can find the actual story in the cleveland.com website, look-up PD Archived stories. You'll be able to see them for the last 2 weeks.
So, I'm curious what my grade will be. The points available are 5. I hope I get a 4 out of 5 or 5 out of 5. If I get a 4 out of 5, I will have the opportunity to make changes for a half point higher. My hope is for an A or B in this class.
My overall goal is a 3.0 or higher this semester. If I do, it will help me get scholarships so I do not have to keep getting student loans, although I will if I have to.
Love to all,
Cathy 8^ )
So, I'm curious what my grade will be. The points available are 5. I hope I get a 4 out of 5 or 5 out of 5. If I get a 4 out of 5, I will have the opportunity to make changes for a half point higher. My hope is for an A or B in this class.
My overall goal is a 3.0 or higher this semester. If I do, it will help me get scholarships so I do not have to keep getting student loans, although I will if I have to.
Love to all,
Cathy 8^ )
Wednesday, February 15, 2006
FREAKING OUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Okay all. Wish me luck. I have my first "man-on-the-street" interview in Journalism today. I have to out into the student union (where all the students hang-out) and interview 2 students regarding a story from yesterday's Plain Dealer. But, before we do it, as a class, we have to decide which topic to pick. Yesterday's newspaper had stupid stories, except one on students' families suing bullies' and their families.
Okay. Relax!
Love to all,
Cathy 8^ )
Okay all. Wish me luck. I have my first "man-on-the-street" interview in Journalism today. I have to out into the student union (where all the students hang-out) and interview 2 students regarding a story from yesterday's Plain Dealer. But, before we do it, as a class, we have to decide which topic to pick. Yesterday's newspaper had stupid stories, except one on students' families suing bullies' and their families.
Okay. Relax!
Love to all,
Cathy 8^ )
Monday, February 13, 2006
My Grandma Muriel...
Okay, I've been having a number of dreams over the past few years about my Grandma Muriel. She is my dad's mom. She died in 1989, and died while being in a diabetic coma. Even though she took insulin shots everyday, she also ate what she wanted. I remember her always having ice cream sundae cups in the fridge. Marie ate the fudge ones and I ate the strawberry ones. But, she also had lots of fruits when we came to visit. Marie loved to eat the cherries and I loved the grapes. Hmmm, I wonder why Marie loves grapes now? Okay, I digress!
Last week, I had a dream about her house after her death. I was there at her house, but was seeing things very strangely. In her kitchen, she had a U-shaped kitchen area, where were were a ton of cabinets, with one set coming out of the wall like an island. Well, they were gone. When Marie and I were growing up, we usually sat there to eat on small bar chairs that appeared to be made for that island. Plus, they whole room reminded me of the 1950s or 60s. Also there was a chest freezer in the kitchen, which I said, "I'm glad the freezer is up here now, instead of in the basement." But, I don't EVER remember there being a freezer in the house. AND, on the wall, there appeared to be a copper baking set, with a bowl, cookie cutters, etc. I was adamant that they were to come to me. All of a sudden, there is someone else in the house, and a some-sort of diplomat who was having us auction the house. The person who placed the highest bid on the rental price of the house would own it. What the dream was saying was, you can buy the house, but only to rent it out and the person with the highest rental price would win.
VERY strange indeed! It seems that I have unfinished business in MA where my Grandma lived, but won't know unless I go there for a visit. This is what my dream seems to be telling me. But, when will I get the chance to visit there? Don't know. Dad took us a few times after Grandma died to see his cousins and his Grandpa (known as Gramps). He passed away a year after my Grandma. Since then, we have not been there to visit. Dad absolutely refuses to go there at all. After my Grandma died, everything was supposed to be in her will to go to my Dad, which didn't happen. She never changed her will and everything went to her ex-husband (another story in itself).
It also seems when I have these dreams, there is a jukebox in the dream. I remember, in her basement, there was a jukebox, which I thought was a Wurlitzer, but I'm not sure because I only saw it a few times. There was also a player-piano that my Dad used when he was growing up to learn to play the piano. Now, in our new house, it appears that we have the same piano that he had when growing up. We moved in to this house in July and was blessed to have adopted a dining room table and a piano. It took until Christmas for him to realize that the piano we have is the same type of piano he grew up with. Rob and I would like to eventually restore the piano and bring it into the house. I know it will be expensive, but it appears to be rather old.
So, the bottom line is, something (or someone) is subconsciously telling me that I need to make a trip to MA. Haverhill to be exact! So, any suggestions about when and where to go would be great. I know I would take Cassi.
Okay, gotta go for now.
Love to all,
Cathy 8^ )
Okay, I've been having a number of dreams over the past few years about my Grandma Muriel. She is my dad's mom. She died in 1989, and died while being in a diabetic coma. Even though she took insulin shots everyday, she also ate what she wanted. I remember her always having ice cream sundae cups in the fridge. Marie ate the fudge ones and I ate the strawberry ones. But, she also had lots of fruits when we came to visit. Marie loved to eat the cherries and I loved the grapes. Hmmm, I wonder why Marie loves grapes now? Okay, I digress!
Last week, I had a dream about her house after her death. I was there at her house, but was seeing things very strangely. In her kitchen, she had a U-shaped kitchen area, where were were a ton of cabinets, with one set coming out of the wall like an island. Well, they were gone. When Marie and I were growing up, we usually sat there to eat on small bar chairs that appeared to be made for that island. Plus, they whole room reminded me of the 1950s or 60s. Also there was a chest freezer in the kitchen, which I said, "I'm glad the freezer is up here now, instead of in the basement." But, I don't EVER remember there being a freezer in the house. AND, on the wall, there appeared to be a copper baking set, with a bowl, cookie cutters, etc. I was adamant that they were to come to me. All of a sudden, there is someone else in the house, and a some-sort of diplomat who was having us auction the house. The person who placed the highest bid on the rental price of the house would own it. What the dream was saying was, you can buy the house, but only to rent it out and the person with the highest rental price would win.
VERY strange indeed! It seems that I have unfinished business in MA where my Grandma lived, but won't know unless I go there for a visit. This is what my dream seems to be telling me. But, when will I get the chance to visit there? Don't know. Dad took us a few times after Grandma died to see his cousins and his Grandpa (known as Gramps). He passed away a year after my Grandma. Since then, we have not been there to visit. Dad absolutely refuses to go there at all. After my Grandma died, everything was supposed to be in her will to go to my Dad, which didn't happen. She never changed her will and everything went to her ex-husband (another story in itself).
It also seems when I have these dreams, there is a jukebox in the dream. I remember, in her basement, there was a jukebox, which I thought was a Wurlitzer, but I'm not sure because I only saw it a few times. There was also a player-piano that my Dad used when he was growing up to learn to play the piano. Now, in our new house, it appears that we have the same piano that he had when growing up. We moved in to this house in July and was blessed to have adopted a dining room table and a piano. It took until Christmas for him to realize that the piano we have is the same type of piano he grew up with. Rob and I would like to eventually restore the piano and bring it into the house. I know it will be expensive, but it appears to be rather old.
So, the bottom line is, something (or someone) is subconsciously telling me that I need to make a trip to MA. Haverhill to be exact! So, any suggestions about when and where to go would be great. I know I would take Cassi.
Okay, gotta go for now.
Love to all,
Cathy 8^ )
Wednesday, February 08, 2006
Update on Topics:
Had to add it here because I thought of it. Thought it was a neat tid bit of info!
Cathy
8^ )
(okay I'm getting a little better feelings-wise!)
- How Rob and I got married
- My history with depression
- Why I'm going back to school (the work-thing and the family/home-thing go in this)
- My parents
- My weight issues...
- My sister (sorry, Marie, you got moved to #6!)
- Rob's Brother, the full-time Criminal (Still!)
Had to add it here because I thought of it. Thought it was a neat tid bit of info!
Cathy
8^ )
(okay I'm getting a little better feelings-wise!)
Free Time...Our journalism instructor had a car accident two weeks ago. Because of this, our class was post-poned until Friday. I did get my homework done for today. Cassi was out sick on Monday. I was unable to go to school myself because Rob had to sleep after working Sunday night. So, I emailed all my professors to make sure I had the homework for today.
So, today, I came to class and found out he had to leave because he had a car accident. Today, was a court appearance by both parties that occurred this morning. He was unable to change the time. So, class was out. I now have this time to blab.
Monday and Tuesday were very bad for me. Rob had to work this weekend, which required me to stay put in the house and not go anywhere. Plus, with the puppies, we cannot go anywhere for more than two hours at a time without needing to get back to take care of them. Now, I know we didn't go to very many places before the puppies, but my freedom has been cut 100%. Even now, I cannot go visit my friend Jacci because she lives so far away. Because we are in Elyria and she's in Euclid, the trip is almost an hour one way. Plus, when I go to visit, it's not just a quick, "Hello. How are you visit?" We gossip and have a good time. And, when Cassi goes for the trip, Jacci always has grandkids there. Cassi loves to go because she ALWAYS has kids to play with and has freedom that she doesn't have at home. Example, she now has to keep EVERY single piece of toy in her room. Because of the puppies, none of her toys can come out in the living room. That was the way I wanted it, but kinda slid because she has always had toys in the living room. She can't take anything out now because if the puppies get them, they will destroy them.
With that said, next point. I am really enjoying going to school. When Cassi came home from grandpa's Sunday really sick, I knew that I would be unable to go to school, which made me even more depressed and made me REALLY tired. Because we have the puppies, who cannot be left alone, when they are out of their cage, someone must sit with them 100% of the time they are out. If you don't, and even when you do, you don't watch them, they potty on the carpet. This happened Saturday, Sunday, and Monday! So, I get to clean it up everytime! Our living space is a huge room. The room is 28 feet by 13 feet, which consists of living room and dining room. After getting the puppies, we purchased two baby gates to keep them confined to oen area. Well, I rearranged the living space to physically break up the room into two spaces, limiting the puppies to a smaller space. I cannot even sit in the dining room side of the living space to work on homework because I have to watch the puppies.
Rob doesn't realize how upsetting this is to me. In the beginning, when we were first married, Rob knew that I didn't want to have children because of my career. But, God decided that I was to have a child. After having Cassi, I lost my career and have been unable to get a new job IN FIVE YEARS!!!!! So, on Monday, when I didn't get a chance to go to school, I was frustrated even further, even though I knew that I was going to school today.
To top it off, Rob and I have been running a Watkins Home-Based Business. 2005 was the first year that we would be getting a 1099 for making enough income to report on our taxes. But, we are STILL waiting to get the tax paper. Rob's dad processes our taxes each year. We are waiting on this one document to complete the taxes.
Going into Tuesday, we get a communication from Rob's dad that he wants Rob to call him. I have been very anal in tracking every dollar in expenses and income from our businesses. Last year, I also added a creative services business to what I do at home to try to make income. Not much happned. Because we moved in July, any extra spending money we had to do craft shows went down the tubes because of the extra expenses we had with purchasing the new home. Rob's dad tries to imply that I shouldn't be running any kind of home business. I should be working at a job. This is the impression I get from his comments. Last year, I tracked our tax expenses and income the same way I did this year, but tracked even more detailed this year. AND IT WASN'T GOOD ENOUGH!
Day #2 of being depressed. Plus, I don't feel any empathy or compassion for the fact that I trying sooooo hard to keep all this stuff tracked, keeping up the house so Rob can work, and now going back to school to try to regain my career when I'm finished.
I know the phone rang for me over Monday and Tuesday, but I just couldn't answer. I had an email requesting that I come to a meeting for the Berea Animal Shelter. There is an animal shelter in the area, that had a fundraiser this past weekend. I donated a gift basket in name of our business toward their effort. Because the shelter is a no-kill shelter, they are trying to raise funds to build a larger building for the animals. Okay, that said. On Tuesday afternoon, I received an email that they were having a meeting in Berea about volunteering with the shelter. We had two hours before we had to go. I still had homework that had to be completed. We had to eat dinner and get the puppies out before we left. Rob sat on the computer for two hours, instead of helping me decide what to eat and help prepare it. I was SO frustrated that I had laundry to put in the dryer, dishes to put away from the dishwasher and dishes to put in to wash. Even after getting that done, there was no help on dinner. So, we ended up not going. Also at the same time, Rob's work called, asking him to come in for overtime. He worked the 11-7 shift. We need the money bad.
Today, I'm kinda on the blah side of my episodes. I am getting very frustrated that I feel like certain people in my life are putting me down because what I am trying to do. Typically, the comments don't bother me, but they did these days. I am trying to better myself in school. I cannot get a career, one that paid me like I did at Ernst & Young five years ago. Nor am I am able to even obtain a job in the field that I want because of my education. I currently have an Associate's Degree in Communications, with over eight years experience in the technology field. So, I'm sick of people telling me I have to get a job. Even the $10 an hour jobs don't want to hire me because they know I'm over-qualified. Plus, they feel that I won't be there long enough for them to make the investment in hiring me. I will get my degree to support the work experience that I have.
Hopefully life gets better. I know it can get worse because it hasn't gotten worse yet.
Okay, that's it for now. I know it's alotta rambling, but I needed to get it off my chest.
Cathy
8^ (
So, today, I came to class and found out he had to leave because he had a car accident. Today, was a court appearance by both parties that occurred this morning. He was unable to change the time. So, class was out. I now have this time to blab.
Monday and Tuesday were very bad for me. Rob had to work this weekend, which required me to stay put in the house and not go anywhere. Plus, with the puppies, we cannot go anywhere for more than two hours at a time without needing to get back to take care of them. Now, I know we didn't go to very many places before the puppies, but my freedom has been cut 100%. Even now, I cannot go visit my friend Jacci because she lives so far away. Because we are in Elyria and she's in Euclid, the trip is almost an hour one way. Plus, when I go to visit, it's not just a quick, "Hello. How are you visit?" We gossip and have a good time. And, when Cassi goes for the trip, Jacci always has grandkids there. Cassi loves to go because she ALWAYS has kids to play with and has freedom that she doesn't have at home. Example, she now has to keep EVERY single piece of toy in her room. Because of the puppies, none of her toys can come out in the living room. That was the way I wanted it, but kinda slid because she has always had toys in the living room. She can't take anything out now because if the puppies get them, they will destroy them.
With that said, next point. I am really enjoying going to school. When Cassi came home from grandpa's Sunday really sick, I knew that I would be unable to go to school, which made me even more depressed and made me REALLY tired. Because we have the puppies, who cannot be left alone, when they are out of their cage, someone must sit with them 100% of the time they are out. If you don't, and even when you do, you don't watch them, they potty on the carpet. This happened Saturday, Sunday, and Monday! So, I get to clean it up everytime! Our living space is a huge room. The room is 28 feet by 13 feet, which consists of living room and dining room. After getting the puppies, we purchased two baby gates to keep them confined to oen area. Well, I rearranged the living space to physically break up the room into two spaces, limiting the puppies to a smaller space. I cannot even sit in the dining room side of the living space to work on homework because I have to watch the puppies.
Rob doesn't realize how upsetting this is to me. In the beginning, when we were first married, Rob knew that I didn't want to have children because of my career. But, God decided that I was to have a child. After having Cassi, I lost my career and have been unable to get a new job IN FIVE YEARS!!!!! So, on Monday, when I didn't get a chance to go to school, I was frustrated even further, even though I knew that I was going to school today.
To top it off, Rob and I have been running a Watkins Home-Based Business. 2005 was the first year that we would be getting a 1099 for making enough income to report on our taxes. But, we are STILL waiting to get the tax paper. Rob's dad processes our taxes each year. We are waiting on this one document to complete the taxes.
Going into Tuesday, we get a communication from Rob's dad that he wants Rob to call him. I have been very anal in tracking every dollar in expenses and income from our businesses. Last year, I also added a creative services business to what I do at home to try to make income. Not much happned. Because we moved in July, any extra spending money we had to do craft shows went down the tubes because of the extra expenses we had with purchasing the new home. Rob's dad tries to imply that I shouldn't be running any kind of home business. I should be working at a job. This is the impression I get from his comments. Last year, I tracked our tax expenses and income the same way I did this year, but tracked even more detailed this year. AND IT WASN'T GOOD ENOUGH!
Day #2 of being depressed. Plus, I don't feel any empathy or compassion for the fact that I trying sooooo hard to keep all this stuff tracked, keeping up the house so Rob can work, and now going back to school to try to regain my career when I'm finished.
I know the phone rang for me over Monday and Tuesday, but I just couldn't answer. I had an email requesting that I come to a meeting for the Berea Animal Shelter. There is an animal shelter in the area, that had a fundraiser this past weekend. I donated a gift basket in name of our business toward their effort. Because the shelter is a no-kill shelter, they are trying to raise funds to build a larger building for the animals. Okay, that said. On Tuesday afternoon, I received an email that they were having a meeting in Berea about volunteering with the shelter. We had two hours before we had to go. I still had homework that had to be completed. We had to eat dinner and get the puppies out before we left. Rob sat on the computer for two hours, instead of helping me decide what to eat and help prepare it. I was SO frustrated that I had laundry to put in the dryer, dishes to put away from the dishwasher and dishes to put in to wash. Even after getting that done, there was no help on dinner. So, we ended up not going. Also at the same time, Rob's work called, asking him to come in for overtime. He worked the 11-7 shift. We need the money bad.
Today, I'm kinda on the blah side of my episodes. I am getting very frustrated that I feel like certain people in my life are putting me down because what I am trying to do. Typically, the comments don't bother me, but they did these days. I am trying to better myself in school. I cannot get a career, one that paid me like I did at Ernst & Young five years ago. Nor am I am able to even obtain a job in the field that I want because of my education. I currently have an Associate's Degree in Communications, with over eight years experience in the technology field. So, I'm sick of people telling me I have to get a job. Even the $10 an hour jobs don't want to hire me because they know I'm over-qualified. Plus, they feel that I won't be there long enough for them to make the investment in hiring me. I will get my degree to support the work experience that I have.
Hopefully life gets better. I know it can get worse because it hasn't gotten worse yet.
Okay, that's it for now. I know it's alotta rambling, but I needed to get it off my chest.
Cathy
8^ (
Thursday, February 02, 2006
UTTER SHOCK...We had to take Cassi to the eye doctor today. Because of the difficulties we had bringing Cassi into the world, and the fact that she was tongue-tied, she's had special services helping her at school. One suggestion that was given was to take her to see an eye doctor.
So, today we did. This eye doctor specializes in working with children. He not only does the "ususal" eye check, but also reviews the results based on a developmental approach. He was able to tell us that Cassi is farsided, and also has an astigmatism. Bottom line, Cassi needed to get glasses.
So, off we go to view the glasses that she can wear. We had her try on about a half dozen pairs before picking a pair with liked. Okay, here's the conclusion, her glasses cost $320!!!!!! Rob was so shocked that when we left, he went the wrong way and almost had a car crash. But, we had to get the glasses because our daughter needed them!
Who would have thought that a child's pair of glasses cost as much as an adults? Go figure!
Okay, had to vent and get my shock out! Now I'm tired! Nap anyone?
Love to all,
Cathy 8^ )
So, today we did. This eye doctor specializes in working with children. He not only does the "ususal" eye check, but also reviews the results based on a developmental approach. He was able to tell us that Cassi is farsided, and also has an astigmatism. Bottom line, Cassi needed to get glasses.
So, off we go to view the glasses that she can wear. We had her try on about a half dozen pairs before picking a pair with liked. Okay, here's the conclusion, her glasses cost $320!!!!!! Rob was so shocked that when we left, he went the wrong way and almost had a car crash. But, we had to get the glasses because our daughter needed them!
Who would have thought that a child's pair of glasses cost as much as an adults? Go figure!
Okay, had to vent and get my shock out! Now I'm tired! Nap anyone?
Love to all,
Cathy 8^ )
Wednesday, February 01, 2006
Topics...I've got to remember my list of topics. So, every now and then, you'll see the list, plus any additional items that I want. Okay, Marie, you'll continue to get #8 until I can't think of anything else to write about (or until your topic gets written).
Topics that I would like to write about here in this blog:
Topics that I would like to write about here in this blog:
- How Rob and I got married
- My past work history (some stories, etc)
- Why I'm going back to school
- Our businesses that I run, along with going back to school and family
- My parents
- My weight issues...
- Why I like to write...
- My sister
- Rob's Brother, the full-time Criminal (Still!)
- My notes that I need to take for my Journalism Class
- My notes that I need to take for my Poetry Class
I'm going to keep this one short. Yep, I'm adding my notes for each of my classes. For each class that I have writing to do, also known as the "Cool" classes, I am going to write them out here. Mostly, I'm writing them here for feedback. Plus, when I've got an idea, I can write it here to see (and read) how it sounds.
I've got to close this for tonight. I'm having a bout of insomnia, coupled with migraines. I had one yesterday and today, until I took an hour nap, which probably helped me with not being able to sleep now. But, the puppies will not wait for me to wake up in the morning. I just know that by 6:30am, they'll be crying for me to take them out and get our life started again for the day.
Love to all,
Cathy 8^ )
P.S. I just noticed the time when this post was created. Based on what I think is happening to the time, add 3 hours to the posted time because it appears to be Pacific Time, which I am in the Eastern Time. So, if you can agree, it's after midnight when I actually created this post.
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