Monday, April 23, 2012


I can't believe how much STUFF I've got going on. I had a Rainbow Girls Parent Advisor's meeting tonight. I definitely don't want to do it next year. Parents who don't show up. No wonder why the kids don't come to their meetings.

Anyway, we got home at 9:30 pm, well after being able to say good night to Cassi. Sitting here on the computer, which I've been doing MUCH less of at home. Ever since this new position, I just don't want to be on the computer at nights. But, I'm trying to keep my writing up. So, for at least 2 nights a week, I'll be on the computer.

While I'm here, I'm also listening to iTunes. Working on a new playlist from Rob's desktop. I've got iTunes on my desktop too, but I figured I would create it here. Yet another "Me" list. I'll copy the list and create it for my iPhone later on.

I'm listening to my new headphone buds. Keeping the outside sounds out and helping make these sounds MUCH nicer.

Working on relaxing a little before bed. Have to come up with an agenda for my training day on Thursday. I think I'm ok. Once I get the agenda set, then, I'll rewrite some of the instructions I've written for this training.

I REALLY want to go out dancing. There's no good places for the music I like to dance to. Hmmm. I know that I would lose some weight this way. Dance a few nights a week. I know I'm working VERY hard to get off the soda kick. Almost all gone. I don't drink soda at work. That's a BIGGIE for me. I'm already seeing a couple pounds lost.

I have an AWESOME male friend who says I am fine just the way I am. He feels it's the person inside that's more important. He's so SWEET. Guess my hubby likes me this way too. He married me! Other issues there, but I'm trying to stay up beat.

I started all kinds of posts yesterday because I was VERY upset. But, in under 24 hours, those feelings have changed. Love it when I swing from one side to the other like this. Good thing I understand this and can handle it on my own like I have for so many years. I swear in a past life I was a Psychologist or a Psychiatrist because I can discuss my issues to myself and talk about them to myself and figure them out like I was "out of body" as a 3rd-person.

Ugh! I've got a headache now. Where's someone who can give me a back massage? I give them out so freely here but don't get them. Ok. Don't want to go down that road tonight. Miss chatting with my friend, but I know he's busy so I won't bug him. I'll wait to see when he calls me.

I sent him a letter but didn't actually get around to explaining why I wrote it. I'm so scatterbrained that my thoughts go 500 places all at once.

OK. Going to just listen to music now.

Lots of love,


Constant Craving by KD Lang

I heard this song on the show Glee. I just LOVE that show. I've been getting most of the volumes of music as I like the way they do music so much. The words of this song just sing to me, no matter what the intended meaning of it is.

Even through the darkest phase
Be it thick or thin
Always someone marches brave
Here beneath my skin

And constant craving has always been

Maybe a giant magnet pulls
All souls towards truth
Or maybe it is life itself
Feeds wisdom to its youth

Constant craving has always been

Craving, ah, ha
Constant craving has always been
Has always been

Constant craving has always been
Constant craving has always been

Craving, ah, ha
Constant craving has always been
Has always been
Has always been
Has always been
Has always been
Has always been

FYI...This is post 500 on this blog for me!

Sunday, April 22, 2012

If you could read my mind, love,

What a tale my thoughts could tell...

Why I Don't Make Plans...

All week, I told everyone, reminded everyone that I was headed to Barnes & Noble for a book signing and to see old friends, people I haven't seen in 12+ years.

I was SO excited!

This morning, we get ready to go to church as they were doing Puppets of Grace for the kids. Come to find out my daughter has no pants for school that fit. So everything was cancelled.

Makes me VERY upset.

That is all!


Have been talking about you a lot this week.

He's been calling you my boyfriend. Been asking if you are getting any. If you are then you should get it all, even my bills.

He's joking. Don't be concerned. He isn't jealous.

I can't wait to see you again though.

Wanna be my BF?

With thoughts and love,


Not happy at all. Everything changed in the span of time of about 30 seconds.

Cassi and I were headed to church. OT my shower and got dressed. Come to find out my child's pants for school are ALL too small and too short.

So all my plans are shot for the day. And my hubby wonders why I never schedule anything. I don't get to see my friends at church; don't get to see former coworkers from E&Y that I haven't seen in about 13 years.

That's the downside to being married with children.

Saturday, April 21, 2012


Rumors...Office Gossip...

A friend was talked about. I heard about it, was told a story. I wasn't happy about it. I'm still not happy about it. Don't want to share what was said. I've told the person what had been said because I felt that person should know. And that person responded that the story wasn't true. Guess the telephone game was running rampant on it!

It makes me VERY upset and sad about it. And that person can't defend themselves since they only come to the office a couple times a year. I feel like I need to be that person's defender and protector. Wow! What feelings come over me.

Listening to some sad music right now. Makes me realize that my depression isn't that far away from me. But, I am being strong and have told the person who told me that they not discuss it with anyone else.

Makes me realize that I shouldn't do that to anyone else, even if they actually are that way.

I discussed it just a couple days ago. It won't go away. It feels just as strong today as it did then. Only a few people have ever had me feeling like this when something like this has come up.

I thank the person for sharing their story with me. BUT, even that story made me sad. If we were close enough, I would spend time with that person to try to help make everything better.

Ok. Need to not be sad for now. This person knows how much I care. Needed/Wanted to share with anyone reading me.


It's Saturday at 10:15 pm...

Shew! So many things to discuss but where do I start?

I have so MANY friends who live too far away to just visit. That would have been cool on a Saturday night! I did get to play with my iPhone. I needed to reset my music. With so many songs and just NOT ENOUGH room. So, I'm picking stuff I want to listen to at work. Since I gave the Pod back to the hubby man, I'm using this not just for the phone but to listen to.

All is good.

But, back to my friends. Even for those who are here, my closest friends are at least an hour away. Anytime I want to visit, it's always an all day adventure. We had a dinner tonight with the lodge so it was no visiting for me. BUT, I have this one friends, I would REALLY love to visit, hang out, watch some of the boob tube, talk, etc. It would be an all-day road trip just to get to his house. I've been nosy about visiting. What is his house like? How is it decorated? I know he likes to bake. AND, it would definitely be fun to bake with him. Why? Because he likes Zucchini Bread. And, I have a to-die-for recipe. I've not shared it with many people. My hubby's grandmother gave it to me. And, I've turned it into other dessert breads. And my friend, among other people, think I should start a bakery business.

BUT, I'm afraid. There's too much at stake right now that holds me back. My friend has been supportive. Have never asked, but I bet he would agree and support me.

He's the one that got me back into the blogging game. And writing in general. I've been using my nifty little iPhone to keep my notes like I used to before. I've been doing so many logical things that my creative side has been hampered. Hopefully I can get my butt back in gear. Plus, I'm ready to head back to school in the Fall, looking for my Master of Arts in Education and a Education Technology endorsement.

Shew! Lots to do. Plus, come next year is my high school's 50th year anniversary. I can't wait! I definitely want to go, even if I have to drive the Friday right after work and stay until Sunday afternoon before returning. I have SOOOO many people I want to see.

As you can tell, my thoughts are VERY scatter-brained. I think this may help me get my thoughts in order too!

"I love you more than I can say!" - listening to More Than I Can Say by Leo Sayer

Listening to a playlist right now that I called Me! It has music from the 70's until now. It's even got Glee music, 70's, 80's, Soft Rock, Country, etc. I think it's got a little of everything.

"The glory of friendship is not the outstretched hand, nor the kindly smile, nor the joy of companionship; it is the spiritual inspiration that comes to one when he discovers that someone else believes in him and is willing to trust him with his friendship. "
~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

I found this saying today, I think it's just AMAZING!

With that, I'm going to close for the night.
May say more later! But, I'm done for now!

Lots of love,

Friday, April 20, 2012

Back to the Blog!

Looks like I'm going to try this again. I've REALLY missed writing on here these past few years. Since I've been gone, I was part-time and now full-time. I'm very involved with logical projects and processes. I'm hoping to recapture my creativity here in my writing.

I have a WONDERFUL friend who has showed me how good it feels to be creative again. YEAH! And, as my sister says, everything happens for a reason.

So, I'm opening up this blog again. Those of you who start to read me again, some of my items will never get published, I'll have to see.

Lots of love to all,