My Weight...

Okay. I'm about to discuss an item on my list, AND IT'S A HUGE ONE!

All of my life, I have dealt with weight problems, but mostly from fourth grade on. I have school pictures that show how chubby I was. I don't even remember how it all happened.

I remember, we used to have snack time each morning in first grade. Mom would pack me twinkies. I always remember Laura Colby (if you're reading, I still remember you!) bringing in white American cheese. I also remember always switching the twinkies for the cheese.

I do remember not being very active. I just wasn't interested in playing outside, even though mom would always say, go outside and play. There were kids in the neighborhood, but I just didn't think I belonged.

But, until fourth grade, my mom was home with me. I learned about soap operas and watch them to this day (yep, over 20 years of experience!).

Come fifth grade, I was already wearing a bra, which I don't think anyone else was at that time. I realized at that point that, even though I knew a lot of people, I didn't have many friends. Even the person I thought was my best friend I just wasn't sure about.

So, all through high school, I gained weight. I didn't have one boyfriend; I didn't attend the prom, homecoming, or any other boy-girl date dances. But, I had LOTS of friends, male and female. None of the boys wanted to date me.

I know I dealt with a lot of depression in high school (different blog story). There would be a new guy that I was attracted to. I would approach this guy of my intentions, that I was interested in going out with him, even if we went dutch. But, everytime the guy shot me down. I would go home and cry for a day or more. After I cried, I was fine. I usually ended up being friends with the guys. I figured I might as well be friends. I think at that time, I learned how to deal with depression.

Right after high school, I started having my first of three knee surgeries on my right knee. Well, being even more inactive due to surgery didn't help. Right now, it's not helping me either.


...more to come.