Free Time...Our journalism instructor had a car accident two weeks ago. Because of this, our class was post-poned until Friday. I did get my homework done for today. Cassi was out sick on Monday. I was unable to go to school myself because Rob had to sleep after working Sunday night. So, I emailed all my professors to make sure I had the homework for today.

So, today, I came to class and found out he had to leave because he had a car accident. Today, was a court appearance by both parties that occurred this morning. He was unable to change the time. So, class was out. I now have this time to blab.

Monday and Tuesday were very bad for me. Rob had to work this weekend, which required me to stay put in the house and not go anywhere. Plus, with the puppies, we cannot go anywhere for more than two hours at a time without needing to get back to take care of them. Now, I know we didn't go to very many places before the puppies, but my freedom has been cut 100%. Even now, I cannot go visit my friend Jacci because she lives so far away. Because we are in Elyria and she's in Euclid, the trip is almost an hour one way. Plus, when I go to visit, it's not just a quick, "Hello. How are you visit?" We gossip and have a good time. And, when Cassi goes for the trip, Jacci always has grandkids there. Cassi loves to go because she ALWAYS has kids to play with and has freedom that she doesn't have at home. Example, she now has to keep EVERY single piece of toy in her room. Because of the puppies, none of her toys can come out in the living room. That was the way I wanted it, but kinda slid because she has always had toys in the living room. She can't take anything out now because if the puppies get them, they will destroy them.

With that said, next point. I am really enjoying going to school. When Cassi came home from grandpa's Sunday really sick, I knew that I would be unable to go to school, which made me even more depressed and made me REALLY tired. Because we have the puppies, who cannot be left alone, when they are out of their cage, someone must sit with them 100% of the time they are out. If you don't, and even when you do, you don't watch them, they potty on the carpet. This happened Saturday, Sunday, and Monday! So, I get to clean it up everytime! Our living space is a huge room. The room is 28 feet by 13 feet, which consists of living room and dining room. After getting the puppies, we purchased two baby gates to keep them confined to oen area. Well, I rearranged the living space to physically break up the room into two spaces, limiting the puppies to a smaller space. I cannot even sit in the dining room side of the living space to work on homework because I have to watch the puppies.

Rob doesn't realize how upsetting this is to me. In the beginning, when we were first married, Rob knew that I didn't want to have children because of my career. But, God decided that I was to have a child. After having Cassi, I lost my career and have been unable to get a new job IN FIVE YEARS!!!!! So, on Monday, when I didn't get a chance to go to school, I was frustrated even further, even though I knew that I was going to school today.

To top it off, Rob and I have been running a Watkins Home-Based Business. 2005 was the first year that we would be getting a 1099 for making enough income to report on our taxes. But, we are STILL waiting to get the tax paper. Rob's dad processes our taxes each year. We are waiting on this one document to complete the taxes.

Going into Tuesday, we get a communication from Rob's dad that he wants Rob to call him. I have been very anal in tracking every dollar in expenses and income from our businesses. Last year, I also added a creative services business to what I do at home to try to make income. Not much happned. Because we moved in July, any extra spending money we had to do craft shows went down the tubes because of the extra expenses we had with purchasing the new home. Rob's dad tries to imply that I shouldn't be running any kind of home business. I should be working at a job. This is the impression I get from his comments. Last year, I tracked our tax expenses and income the same way I did this year, but tracked even more detailed this year. AND IT WASN'T GOOD ENOUGH!

Day #2 of being depressed. Plus, I don't feel any empathy or compassion for the fact that I trying sooooo hard to keep all this stuff tracked, keeping up the house so Rob can work, and now going back to school to try to regain my career when I'm finished.

I know the phone rang for me over Monday and Tuesday, but I just couldn't answer. I had an email requesting that I come to a meeting for the Berea Animal Shelter. There is an animal shelter in the area, that had a fundraiser this past weekend. I donated a gift basket in name of our business toward their effort. Because the shelter is a no-kill shelter, they are trying to raise funds to build a larger building for the animals. Okay, that said. On Tuesday afternoon, I received an email that they were having a meeting in Berea about volunteering with the shelter. We had two hours before we had to go. I still had homework that had to be completed. We had to eat dinner and get the puppies out before we left. Rob sat on the computer for two hours, instead of helping me decide what to eat and help prepare it. I was SO frustrated that I had laundry to put in the dryer, dishes to put away from the dishwasher and dishes to put in to wash. Even after getting that done, there was no help on dinner. So, we ended up not going. Also at the same time, Rob's work called, asking him to come in for overtime. He worked the 11-7 shift. We need the money bad.

Today, I'm kinda on the blah side of my episodes. I am getting very frustrated that I feel like certain people in my life are putting me down because what I am trying to do. Typically, the comments don't bother me, but they did these days. I am trying to better myself in school. I cannot get a career, one that paid me like I did at Ernst & Young five years ago. Nor am I am able to even obtain a job in the field that I want because of my education. I currently have an Associate's Degree in Communications, with over eight years experience in the technology field. So, I'm sick of people telling me I have to get a job. Even the $10 an hour jobs don't want to hire me because they know I'm over-qualified. Plus, they feel that I won't be there long enough for them to make the investment in hiring me. I will get my degree to support the work experience that I have.

Hopefully life gets better. I know it can get worse because it hasn't gotten worse yet.

Okay, that's it for now. I know it's alotta rambling, but I needed to get it off my chest.

Cathy
8^ (