Update on Nicole

In case you're wondering, Rob's daughter's name is Nicole. She turned 16 on Wednesday, and yes, that's just one day after mine. Yesterday, we went to a birthday party her mother gave her that was at a park on Lake Erie.

I hand-made 2 cards for her, one from us and one from Cassi. Cassi also colored a picture on the way to the party and gave it to Nicole. For her birthday, I noticed the following gifts:

• cell phone with keyboard (like my phone and Rob's and Marie's)
• digital camera with memory card
• a box of Twinkies (I think this was a gag gift from mom's boyfriend)

She really enjoyed Cassi picture gift. The only issue with the cell phone is that it has text messaging. Well, I am not about to upgrade our phone plan to include unlimited texting. And, I told Rob this. He agreed. Right now, we pay enough each month for a share plan on the minutes. For our texting, Rob has the ability to send and receive 1500 msgs outside of the Verizon plan and I've got 500. I haven't needed to upgrade my and don't plan on it because ALL my texting is within the Verizon network. Hmmm? Wonder why I refuse to change companies? Even though everyone else might be cheaper? I'll keep Verizon. We've been with them since it was Airtouch (yep, that long). But, I digress. Luckily, with accessing our account online, I can keep track of how many msgs he's sent and received outside of the network.

But, Cassi had a really good time. They ordered pizzas and had a cake from Giant Eagle (local grocery store that has AWESOME cake). Anyway. Because it had been so cool, we decided not to let Cassi wear her suit to the lake. But, Rob walked with her on the edge, allowing her to get her feet wet and to let her collect sea shells. Yes, even though it is a lake, there are sea shells because it is a "salt" lake. One time, she came back with the bottoms of her shorts wet. Next thing we knew, she was soaked up to her hair. She was really having a good time with Nicole. And, Nicole watched her.

We stayed at the party about 2 hours. Then, because Cassi was wet, we went to mom and dad's house. Cassi stopped short of the door to make sure her feet were clean. Then, it was straight to the bathroom to get washed up. She decided she wanted to stay. Rob and I were working on the house last night and this morning and weren't going to go to church (yes, bad us). His grandmother will be here in a little over a week. He's trying his hardest to get everything done. Right now, the floor is done. Last night and today, Rob and Dan removed the floor trim. Because we have done so much to help Dan, and he's got a friend at a lumber company, Dan is going to pay for new trim wood for our floor. And, Dan's going to help Rob get it put in. Right now, I'm not doing much, but my time will come. Once the hutch comes back upstairs and the furniture gets back into the living room, it will be my job to populate everything with the "stuff" that's in the basement. But, last night, Rob did get to paint the ceiling and fill the holes in the window trim. Today, he filled the cracks in the walls. They should be dry tomorrow when he can come back into the living room and paint the walls.

So, Cassi stayed overnight. On the way home, Rob kept getting txt messages from Nicole. Because Rob was driving, he had me send the messages back and forth. One quest she asked him was the ability to spend time with him all by herself. Yes, that means no me, no Cassi. Now, you can all understand where I'm taking this line of thinking. It means that I'm jealous because I can't spend my time with my husband. The problem I have with this is that she asked him to take her out to dinner and a movie, "just the two of them." Here are my objections, that I told Rob:

1. We don't have the extra money
2. You don't spend time with OUR daughter by yourself
3. WE don't get to spend time doing things just you and me because of issue #1

I told him, "How can you decide to go out with Nicole when we continue to tell Cassi that we can't go to the movies, etc. because we just don't have the extra money. Now all of a sudden you do because of her."

That just isn't fair. I told him if he starts spending time with Nicole, he ALSO has to make time to spend with Cassi alone. I understand he hasn't seen Nicole in 15 years, but he doesn't make the attempt to spend time with Cassi. And, yes, you can agree that I'm jealous that there's someone else in his life taking his time, time that would normally be spent with me. But, I just need time to get used to the new situation.

So, as I said, we came home and he painted. My part of the job was to watch the ceiling to make sure none of the areas were missed. And, even when he's doing the work, he enjoys my being with him to talk with him.

Overall, I felt very akward at the party. I didn't know anyone there, but the ex and Nicole. One of the ex's friends introduced herself to me, but I can't remember her name. I met the ex's mom. She seemed very brash and rude because of what she was saying during the party. Not many people talked to me. I was feeling akward because of the whole, "she's your ex and you had sex thing." For me, it's akward knowing that my husband has been with someone who will now be part of my life. He thinks I'm crazy. We've had this situation before where a friend of his wanted to be friends with me, but I chose not to because they had sex together. He added in the same conversation that, "Well, I didn't feel that way when I met your ex." For me, that situation was different because: 1. we were never married, 2. we never had a kid together, 3. he never stole money from me, 4. all the other reasons not directly implied about their relationship that Rob has told me.

I do like Nicole. I know she needs him and he needs her. It just seems like my needs (yes, it's all about me) and Cassi's needs will fall to second. Again, I'll keep you all updated on what happens. His parents and grandmother are coming in about a week and a half. Dan has already agreed to come get me and take me away from the house if the situation gets to be too much on me. But, I told Dan if I can't handle it, I'll just take a walk.

Oh, at the party, I spent some time walking around the beach, getting some nice pictures of the lake, with the sailboats, downtown Cleveland, and other pictures of the area. I'll post them after I upload them to my computer. Yes, and I'll even include the latest pictures of the floor.

Lots of love,
Cathy
8^ )